5 days sober and I am struggling. Through tears I

Hotline
#28

You will reclaim the most fascinating life you could imagine just do one thing. Change

1 Like
#29

I hope so . I am not positive today. Went boating and it was horrible because all I ever did was drink on the boat and have a blast with friends. I couldnā€™t go near those friends today for fear I would drink. I promised my son I wouldnt drink. His wedding is coming up and I have to stay sober through all this wedding drama and beyond

#30

I can definitely relate to this whole situation. For whatever reason you have found it necessary to stop drinking and go down a better path. Your husband on the other hand is probably not ready to do that. He probably asked you four times because he wants his drinking partner back and she is ready to choose a different path.

If he is not willing to support you, he more than likely has a problem himself. My advice to you is that if your husband is not going to support you oh, you should really try to find another place to go and stay for a while because what you need right now is recovery. This is a complex situation and one that I can definitely relate to because I have been there. I was married back in the late 80s early 90s and I too wanted to get sober but my wife was not ready.

I went into a few treatment centers and started going to AA meetings and it seems like it just pushed us further and further apart. Sobriety is definitely a better choice but you are in a situation right now where both parties don't want sobriety and so this creates a big, big challenge for the both of you. If you want this, it's going to require some serious maybe temporary changes in your life in order to make it happen.
Your first action should be to get with some women in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous so you are not in this alone. Hold on tight because the road might be a little bumpy for a while.

1 Like
#31

Thank you for your encouragement

#32

Be strong. Do what you need to do for you. Iā€™m like 40 some days sober and I used for around 15yrs. My wife used as well and my last use was April 30th. And she said she quit as well and I went to inpatient for 21 days and when I got home my wifeā€™s best friend was the one she was getting her stuff from and I found out that my wife used a couple days before I got home. It really knocked me off my square. It hurt so bad and it made me realize that we r definitely two different people. Even after 11 years of marriage. We can only be ready to change when we want it. Itā€™s hard and frustrating but like for me I basically said ya know I needed this change so that we could be able to do better and that we were going to have to stay away from each other if needed. And I didnā€™t want that at all but I wanted to do better more. And she made her own choice to get right. So what Iā€™m getting at is to be strong. Sometimes what we want isnā€™t what we need and it hurts but. If our significant other truly loves us they will choose to join us on our journey but we canā€™t make that choice for them. Be strong trust in your higher power and do what you need everything else falls in place. I always have my phone on. And check it often. Be strong. Hope something I said helps.

3 Likes
#33

I really appreciate your words. Thank you. I need to take care of me. I cannot expect him to even though he is my husband . It hurts

1 Like
#34

Hi, Lori. I'm sorry your husband isn't supportive. It may not mean much but we are. You have every reason to be upset and hurt. I'm proud of you for working through the tough moments anyway.

2 Likes
#35

You can do this.

1 Like
#36

Hey Lori. Stay strong. My wife and I have been separated since day one of my sobriety. She still hangs and drinks with alcoholics. Parties when itā€™s not her time at home with the kids. Nonetheless. If I can do this. You can do this.

1 Like
#37

Thank you. Itā€™s tough

#38

Tough as hell. But we donā€™t grow where we are comfortable.
Keep going to meetings. Let me know if you want some links to some meetings. Thereā€™s a good late night one I frequent.
Keep going, get a sponsor, work the program and believe in the promises. I do and I havenā€™t gotten there yet. :pray:

#39

I went to 2 meetings today. I spoke at the 2nd one and it was so hard . I was hoping my husband would say that he would get sober with me but he hasnā€™t . If he doesnā€™t then I will have a hard choice to make.

2 Likes
#40

Good for you. Reach out to the women in the meetings. Get numbers. This will help greatly in getting a sponsor and a network. Get the big book. Keep reaching out. The fellowship of AA is solid.

#41

You CAN do this. You ARE stronger than you ever imagined. :fist_right::boom::fist_left:

1 Like
#42

I appreciate your support

1 Like
#45

Iā€™m here if you need an ear to listen.

1 Like
#46

Hey Lori you do what you have to do not what others want you to do it gets better

1 Like
#47

Hi Lori , First Congrats on your days of staying sober.. So sorry you don't have support ,But your not alone because We're here..just get a sponsor and continue going to the meetings..You got this :+1:..

1 Like
#48

Thank you all for your words of encouragement.

#49

Turn to people in recovery. We have been 5 days sober and understand the struggles in early sobriety. Iā€™m not a marital counselor but am happy to offer my experience strength and hope.