People just suck, truly. They’ve always disappointed me, drunk or sober. Dogs are much better.
3 Likes
Lol I agree 
1 Like
One thing I've learned is the only thing I have control over is me. Having high expectations is a human thing, but you also gotta remember not everyone is on your wavelength. Being hurt by others decisions is a choice you make for yourself. You can choose not to let it hurt you. That's a hard thing to teach yourself, I'm still trying. Unfortunately, I've also learned you lose faith in those who you think care the most about you. Do you, cause you're in control, and that's powerful!
1 Like
Not all people "suck". Sometimes we are disappointed because we expect to much. This is something I am learning to accept right now. We need to lower the bar for our expectations of humans, to what we do, say, for a dog. Didn't p00p in the house while I was at work? Good job. Didn't chew up my shoes, or my couch, or the TV remote? Thanks friend!
Also, it's completely ridiculous that the word p00p is censored on this site. The censorship in general on here is utterly stupid.
1 Like
Sometimes you just have to vent. I'm all ears and will listen.
1 Like
Hold on.
You absolutely have the right to have expectations. We all have needs and look to people in our lives to meet them.
When those you trust to be there for you consistently let you down, that makes us feel unvalued, unimportant and unseen. That can wear us down and lead to negative coping behaviors; especially if you are making the effort for others and they are not for you.
Your needs are valid, your feelings are valid and feeling hurt when those we cherish don't cherish us in return is not only valid, it can be your heart telling you something is wrong and it isn't your fault.
1 Like
Pardon me, but this advice is a permission structure for enabling, neglect and even abuse.
Yes, we can only control ourselves. But being hurt by loved ones letting us down is not a choice, it's a natural response and involuntary.
What we control in these situations is our boundaries, not whether or not what is hurtful is in fact hurtful.
Devaluing our feelings, needs and experience strikes me as a potential catalyst for negative coping behaviors. That's not what people with substance problems propelled by psychic wounds need at all.
There is a lot of pressure on being a beautiful woman that alot people just don't realize. I'm not a girl but have 3 daughters. As a older man everyone just wants money. Not sure anyone ever takes the time to look past the pretty.
This is exactly why I've relapsed a few times. I've worked through these situations as well. I've heard expectations are premeditated resentments. That's always a good reminder for me.
1 Like
% agree!
This is both the reason I started drinking and the reason i stopped. My warped brain told me I was "getting back" at those that didn't love, respect, or appreciate me. Then I stopped bc I wasn't loving, respecting, or appreciating MYSELF!
They still don't do those things, but at least I do myself. 
1 Like