I disagree. We are not always necessarily the root cause, root causes are our triggers/negative experiences that may lead us to want to use. People go through trauma and if they don’t have positive coping tools, substances tend to ease that up. There are symptoms of alcohol abuse, but alcohol is not a symptom. I never admitted I was powerless, but I got myself sober.
1 Like
I’ve seen several people on this app tell others that they can’t get and stay sober without AA/NA and constant meetings.
And I’m not talking down on it or suggesting it doesn’t work. But if people can praise how much it worked for them, I can also let people know that it didn’t work for me and it’s not always a guarantee for success. Not talking down on it but saying there are other methods and sobriety/recovery is individual to each.
You must not have actually read my post. First, I’m far from your typical therapist, I’m a recovered addict/alcoholic myself. So I relate more to many of my clients more than they initially think and probably the therapist you saw. Second, I didn’t fail to save you, your therapist didn’t fail to “save” you, therapy isn’t about the therapist, it’s the client who still does the work. So maybe therapy just wasn’t for you or maybe you didn’t have the right match with one. I didn’t mention anything about science, so not sure where you’re coming from with that, maybe a little resentment or failure on your part as well. I didn’t fail in AA/NA, it wasn’t for me. And that’s what I said in my post is that it’s not for me and it’s not the only method for getting and staying sober. Recovery is individual to us all. I said you got to do what works for you, whatever it is. As a professional I don’t sway people one way or another, I say and continue to say find what works for you. Even if it didn’t work for me. Or even if something worked for me and you choose different, go for it. I even mentioned that I’ve taught classes in understanding the 12 steps, you must have overlooked that. I know how much I’m responsible for, I see it daily and help people daily and will do so until my last breathe, in whatever way works for them. Just because I say something didn’t work for me and isn’t the only way doesn’t mean I’m “bashing” it or trying to steer others away from it. You seem to be a little mistaken in your understanding of my post. Oh, and I’m not atheist, I’m a Christian and actually use faith based practices with clients who wish to do so.
And I have talked about many options, that’s my point, I’m talking about how there are other methods for sobriety and not just AA/NA, so how is that being biased? Compared to some who push that the only way is meetings. Have a nice day, I’m done.
To most of you, thank you for your positive replies and input. Some seem to be a little off from what my post is about. The important thing is that whatever works for you is what you should do. Try multiple things, as there are many ways out there for getting and staying sober. It’s all individual to each of us. I’m a therapist, so yes, I provide therapy and believe it helps. But I’ve never said it’s the only way, as I’ve seen some people on this app say about going to meetings. Getting deeper with things usually happens in a therapeutic setting, but if it’s not for you then that’s perfectly ok too. Good luck to you all, keep pushing. Find and stay with what works for you no matter what others say.
2 Likes
Your answer contradicts itself. Failure to have positive coping skills is a personal defect.. admitting I was powerless over 1 thing, alcohol, restored my power over every single other aspect of my life.
My answer does not contradict itself. Failure to have positive coping skills isn’t a personal defect, as developing those tools most often times takes learning and growing them, trial and error, which not everyone can do without guidance. I see it daily in my career. Some people aren’t taught positive, healthy skills growing up. And I’m glad admitting you were powerless over alcohol helped you, but that’s you, not everyone. But you can have your opinions and I’m good with that. Good luck in your sobriety.
It's very simple Daniel
Meetings have probably saved millions of peoples lives. It's not how I stay sober but it does work if you work it
Probably. I haven’t disagreed with that. What I’m asking is, why is that all that I almost ever see pushed and encouraged here? Like it’s the end all cure all. I Haven’t seen many encourage therapy, exercise, or any other method. And have even seen some people say you can’t get or stay sober without going to meetings. That’s all.
Therapy helped me more than anything. Finding the root causes of my alcoholism. Now that we know you are a therapist we will be expecting lots of sober suggestions! 
I discovered box breathing on here and drink herbal teas that calm the central nervous system. I credit my relationship with my HP above all
1 Like
Box breathing is very beneficial for many people. Even for general anxiety as well. And of course a higher power is great. I try to help anybody I can anytime
Love this! I think for me the twelve steps are tools I didn’t have before that help me stay out of self and be patient and tolerant to others. My sponsor did recommend Therapy as there are things AA can’t help with. So I do both. It’s pretty cool to get both sides because with the experience I have, I can either as a sponsor help practice those tools, and or direct someone and recommend therapy. I also got into Victory Outreach ministry and it’s incredible how people got sober in church but I see how they are missing the twelve steps of AA and I get to jump in and present it.
1 Like
I highly recommend AA, meetings, sponsor, home group, and a service position in that home group because it saved my life. I have never said that AA/NA are the ONLY way to get and stay sober, but for someone like me who tried every possible option - inpatient, outpatient, psychiatric and psychologist treatment, will power, and every other possible treatment I could think of and none of it worked. You say that you aren't trying to start an argument, so can you please site these examples you're speaking of where people said these things you're claiming? It seems to me like your trashing programs that have saved millions of lives, and people who are trying (out of the goodness of their hearts) to try and help and encourage others to get help. I'm happy you're not my therapist, bc even mine recommends AA.
Can I ask why YOU don't recommend AA/NA? I might suggest that it didn't work because you didn't work it. I have seen firsthand countless men and women recover from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body from these programs.
1 Like
Well said 
Then address that directly with them, not the community as a whole. I'm ignoring this thread from here on because it's taking me away from my primary purpose of being here. Helping others who are still sick and suffering.
Your posts mention feeling tempted and discontent. People recommend AA not just to stay sober, but to connect with a higher power that brings happiness and contentment without alcohol. I didn't want to just be sober; I wanted to be happy and sober.
AA wasn't for me. I was humiliated by the group on 2 separate occasions quite some time apart and in 2 different towns. I hated AA. There is a certain kind of holier than thow persona of SOME people in AA. I would not recommend it but I don't suggest that someone shouldn't try it . If it works for you or whomever, great! Do it. But don't if it's not right for you. I did an IOP and one to one counseling. IOP was a waste of time and counseling was only good when I decided I was in charge of myself. That I was far from powerless and that I was powerful. I was ready. I wanted to change. No, one, way is correct. People push AA because it has worked for them. But I do find that it is common for those who believe in AA that you must do it that way. At least that is the stereotype. There are different ways and all should be accepted. If it works, then do what works.
I’m not trashing AA/NA. You obviously don’t understand my post. I’ve said numerous times to do what works best for you. They didn’t work for me, not cause I didn’t work the steps, but it wasn’t for me. Didn’t need to go further. Not trashing it, at all. I’ve never said it’s a waste of time or doesn’t work. It’s all individual. And I’m not gonna site the sources, there have been a few people I’ve seen on here over the last 2 years say that it’s the only way. Not gonna go through 2 years of posts to find them. Believe me or don’t, up to you. Not something I’d lie about. And it’s ok that you wouldn’t want me as your therapist, personal choice. But I’ve also never said I don’t recommend AA/NA, so not sure where you’re coming up with that, as I have many times, but I make sure to let people know that there are many ways to get and stay sober. You and a few others don’t seem to be getting my post or what I’m saying, which kinda makes my point. But I’m saying it’s NOT the only way to get and stay sober. It has to be individual to each person and when people recommend or suggest it, or something else, perfectly fine. But when I’ve seen people tell others new to sobriety that it’s the only way they can stay sober, that’s incorrect. That’s all I’m saying. I don’t see where that’s basking a program. Again, I’ve also said I’ve taught classes on understanding the 12 steps, maybe you missed that. So I know the program, I know what it can do, but it’s not the only way. That’s what I’m saying.
1 Like
Ignore it, no worries. I’ve addressed it before with individuals. But I wanted to get feedback from others on their thoughts about it. I’m perfectly able to do so. That’s how people interact and see others views. No bashing, yet you’ve seemed to bash me by saying you’re happy I’m not your therapist, implying I’m not a good therapist because you assume I don’t recommend AA/NA, which would be incorrect. See, that’s how I take that. Like you taking my post and interpreting it in your own way from what my words actually were. I’m a great therapist, I relate to my clients more than most therapists do or can and I spend everyday happily helping others. I know where I’m at. Take care