People will get very defensive if there is even a perceived attack on the thing that for many literally saved their lives
I get that. It’s definitely true. And I believe that’s a problem within itself, that some are closed minded to other ideas. I’m all for whatever works, whether is meetings and programs, therapy, will power, or a combination of one or more. All that matters is progress and success.
I guess I have a question/issue regarding your statement “it didn’t work for me”. I think lots of programs and alternative paths work, but if you slip up and relapse…is it the program that didn’t work or is it that you didn’t work the program? Let’s say a client of yours (or even you yourself) have a slip sometime in the future. Are you going to say that therapy didn’t work for that person or yourself?
It just doesn’t sound right to me when I hear someone say it didn’t work for me. It’s ok to not want to go to AA/NA. It’s ok to prefer other methods. I admit AA has been a tough pill to swallow for me. The terminology is definitely old school. I needed outside sources and a great sponsor to help me navigate thru it, and carve my path thru the 12 steps. I suppose the saying it works if you work it hold true for all paths. You just need to continue working it ODAAT. I don’t think there is any doubt the 12 step programs are best for reminding us to keep working it
I get what you’re saying. And I say it didn’t work for me as it wasn’t a place that fit my style, my personality, what I wanted out of getting sober. I worked it, it just wasn’t the method that gave me the drive to want to make the change. I found other methods that motivated me more and helped me be accountable less for my actions. If a person slips up while in a program, therapy, wherever, then yes, it’s ultimately their choice to go down that path for whatever reasons pushed them that way, and maybe whatever program or treatment they are in isn’t fitting them in various ways, their needs, etc. every method out there that I know about and/or have gone through works, but just not for everyone for various reasons individual to them. Doesn’t mean that method failed, it just didn’t work for that person. So I get your question on if it was the program that failed or the person that didn’t work it. What truly defines “working” a program though in your opinion, as I’ve seen many people work hard and still slip up, what determines a person not working hard? Just a thought, not trying to argue or say you’re wrong. Let me ask this, say a person goes through whatever treatment they go through and slip up, is the slip up fully on that person or does whatever method they used play a part? As well, if a person succeeds, does that method get the credit for their success or can it be attributed to the will power and efforts of the individual that actually put in the work? Kinda like a sports team, if they win, it’s usually all about the players that won the game, played great, etc., but if they lose, then it typically gets put on the coach for not coaching properly or playing the right players at the right time and eventually the coach is the one getting fired, not the players actually playing. I don’t deny programs and steps aren’t working, but different things fit different individuals and their individuality.
Daniel, your opinion is valued, and I commend you for finding a way that works for you. However, the 12 step program has a far better track record for a far larger amount of people. It’s also free, can be accessed anywhere in the world, is available and accessible at a moment’s notice at any given hour of the day or night, has knowledgeable people that can be reached also at any given time with just a phone call, and did I mention all of this is free of charge?? Again, I’m glad you found something that seems to be working for you, and I highly recommend every individual seeks therapy at some point on top of working a program, especially around the 4th step mark. But finally I’ll end with this as I reiterate what I saw in somebody else’s comment, is that a program only works if you work it. Hope you have a blessed day!!
Appreciate your reply. We are on the same team. Semantics aside, we agree on a whole lot. Let’s get back to staying sober and helping others
I agree to that. Staying sober is what matters and helping others along the way is very important and needed. Keep up the work and stay strong in it
I can't believe I'm even wasting my time with this dude again, but his statement that "it didn't work for me" means to me that he never fully surrendered to a power greater than himself. Daniel is knocking a program that has saved millions of people worldwide, and it absolutely feels like an attack on an institution that has been around and working for alcoholics since 1935. I'm done wasting my energy on this dude. He is choosing that God is nothing, and I choose that God is everything.
What a GREAT question!! One of the very reasons i do not put all my eggs in the AA basket so to speak.. Being abstinent from any substance does not make someone emotionally healthy... in fact when people are coerced into a belief system with scare tactics, shaming, bullying , manipulating then that is not a healthy environment!! It is a cult!! Choose meetings and people wisely and GET A THERAPIST WHO IS INDEPENDENT OF AA BUT WILL HOLD YOU ACCOUNTABLE TO SOBRIETY!!
Ha, very funny! Wasting your time with me again, but yet you chose to engage, and might I add you engaged in something you’re not even taking correctly. And here we go again, I’m to blame for a specific program not working for me because I didn’t do what I was supposed to do. Man, you nailed it right on the head. Have you been following me around throughout my life watching my recovery? Cause you are highly incorrect. It didn’t work for me because it wasn’t a fit for me after I tried it for quite a while, had nothing to do with what I did or didn’t do. And THIS proves what my point is the whole time, because something that you’re passionate about and worked for you didn’t work for me, it’s my fault and I’m “knocking” the program! This is exactly what I’m talking about. You seem to have no open mind for other things working for different people, that too have been proven, seems like if it worked for you it has to work for everyone or they didnt do it right! AGAIN, I’ve never knocked this or any program, I’ve actually said the words it has and can help lots of people, but I’m fully entitled and correct to say that it doesn’t work for everyone who tries it. You obviously don’t like hearing that, but it’s the truth and I’ll say that about any type of program or treatment out there. Show me where I’ve actually knocked or bashed the program or said it doesn’t help people, show me those exact words from anything I’ve ever said. Have you ever bought something that you ended up not liking or that it didn’t work for you, but was an item that other people love? It’s ok if it happens, it doesn’t mean that thing doesn’t work, it’s just not for that person, maybe there’s another item out there similar that is better for your needs. Pretty bold of you to try and say it didn’t work for me because I didn’t do it right and I didn’t surrender to a higher power, like you know me and what I’ve done. I’m sober, very sober, for many many years, and did it in other ways that worked for me and my needs, so obviously something worked for me, my apologies it wasn’t what you wanted to hear. And you’re absurd to say I’m choosing that God is nothing because I didn’t do the program like you did and needed to do, like you know my faith. Many people in the program don’t see God specifically as their higher power, so how to you come off and say that I choose that God is nothing and He is everything to you just cause you go through a program that has a “higher power” that can be anything a person feels it to be?! I bet you a good percent of people involved in the program don’t view God as their higher power, so are you wasting your time engaging with them too because they don’t choose what you choose? I have big faith, I’m a Christian, God is my higher power there buddy, but in my own faith and not a program mandate. Ha, I didn’t surrender to something higher than myself, then answer me this…how is it that I’ve been sober for many years now, and if I ever come across temptation, I’m fully able to refrain from falling into it? Yes, please, stop wasting your time on me. I’d appreciate that. If you can’t have an actual respectful discussion about it, then I’m actually wasting my time as well. It’s ok for people to have differences, but bashing them personally because of it isn’t cool. AGAIN, just to be clear, I’ve NEVER bashed or knocked the program, and you can’t show me where I have, you just assume based on what you want to see, just saying it’s not the only thing out there that can give a person their life back and remain sober. Myself, along with many others I’ve talked to have proven that. There are a variety of ways as sobriety and recovery are not a “one size fits all” deal. I apologize, I didn’t mean to waste more of your time. Take care
Well said. People need to realize that recovery looks different for each of us, in our own ways and methods. If it works for you then great, why can’t some people be open to that? You’re correct, sobriety is more than just abstaining from substance, it’s emotion, thought processing, mind set, environment, etc.
TLDR waste of time that I could be spending actually helping other people and not engaging with a man who is too smart for AA.
Andrew you are proving my point.. Why so aggressive??? He is not bashing anything! He asked a question and stated his own experience.... Jeeze
We get this exact post every few months. Is it copied from another site? It's exactly word for word the same statements.
It's like a new form of spam but meant to start an argument.
Be cautious of anyone claiming to be a therapist that would post this. Very cautious.
I'm in AA and god is nothing to me as well. I'm an atheist. But the fellowship of drunks helping drunks, and unfücking my life through most of the steps is making all the difference, for me.
Word for word huh?! Show me! Cause these are my words, not copied from anywhere, so I think you’re being a little dramatic. Why is it that a post that talks about somebody using something to get sober other than what you use and stating that there various options available, including the program, cause an argument with some people? Seems maybe those people can’t be open minded? Interesting. I post a thought about this, a realistic thought and some experience, and everybody losses it and some even bash me personally and I caused an argument?! Ok cool, seems like a cult following maybe. Just because a therapist shares that there are many ways to get sober doesn’t mean it’s bashing one or that it’s incorrect. Oh, and by the way, I also find it interesting that any post I’ve made not about the program but about me or my experiences or anything else hardly gets no comment, but as soon as you put out there that there are many ways to sobriety including AA, but not just AA, people go crazy and blow it up! Very interesting. Seems some people are more worried about defending the program and not about an actual persons recovery.
This is the weirdest thread.
Can I get a false flag argument for 100? He is having the same discussion on another platform. Don't let it get you down....that's what it's meant to do.
Who is having the same discussion on another platform? If you’re referring to me, you’re highly mistaken as I’m not on any other recovery platforms, so before you go making accusations make sure you got your together so you don’t look stupid. Seems maybe you’re putting out false flags to start some stuff. Cool, way to be an adult