How do I deal with the fact that my family

Recovery
#21

Ugh.
Lindsey. I wish that you were not dealing with unsupportive family members.

Yes. I do not think that my family and friends “ get “ my sobriety.

It can feel incredibly lonely.
Rooting for you. I realize that we are not your family while as you can see from the many comments of support…we want you to succeed.

I wish I had words which might bring comfort.
I know it may not help to read, while thankfully no difficult moment nor feeling last forever.

Please keep us posted on how you are doing, Lindsey.
Congratulations regarding not drinking.
That is h u g e.
Be very proud of yourself, please - amidst some very painful realities.
:peace_symbol::purple_heart::peace_symbol:

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#22

Unfortunately due to money issue I have to live with my step dad and mom. My mom has been probably the most supportive. She quit with me minus a drink here or they maybe four times since I quit. I don’t have anywhere to go. I never realized until I quit that I literally have no family or friends to go to when I need an escape. I sat in a parking lot for two hours last night alone.

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#23

You should consider joining an AA group. You’ll meet like minded friends on the same journey. People who get it. I feel sad when people act weird around me for not drinking. But it’s my life on the line, not theirs.

#24

Are you involved in a groups AA meetings. Can really meet some great people who are doing exactly what your doing. Being alone is ok sometimes but nothing like recovery friends.

#25

I’m so sorry, Lindsey.
Just curious…could you have gone to a meeting during the time in the lot?

#26

I work 7:30-6 evening meeting are at 5:30 so I couldn’t. I have only been able to go to two meeting due to my work schedule. I live in a small town and they do not offer many AA meetings.

#27

This sucks. Just wondering about right, alternatives.
You mentioned having a sponsor so sounds as if you are not opposed to going to meetings, obviously…

#28

That is who I texted when this all happened yesterday but she was at work and wasn’t able to get back to me asap.

#29

That stinks!
I’m trying to think of alternatives. I live with my folks, try to help out-so I get the being around family stuff.
I mean I am grateful for them while they are not the best at getting how this all “ works “, what it is like. However. They do not drink and my mom i s supportive, meaning she will tell me that she is proud of me.
Back to what to do…did you stay in the lot because right, you did not feel like dealing with being at home?
Sorry if I am asking the obvious, etc….

#30

I had no where else to go. My whole family drinks a lot. What kills me is that my mom and I had a good talk over a month ago. She said they were on the verge of an intervention. So I quit. At first they still drank around me until I said something. Then they were like you just need a break you don’t have to quit entirely. Then I asked them not to drink around me and they said it wasn’t fair. So you wanted me to work on myself but you all didn’t think your involvement was going to change or need to change for my well being. Ok I see how it is. I’m depressed. I’m in a dark place and none of my family has even reached out to me in the past two days and I live with two of them. I mean what’s even the point now?

#31

My folks do not drink while since I am in the same house, this place can feel like trigger central…the decades of dysfunction are like right in my face these days.
I have been out of town here and there when possible, to get some distance…while I am fortunate because I have friends that I can confide in and are rooting for my sobriety.
Please keep reaching out to us, Lindsey.
It is really huge that you are choosing sobriety.
You deserve it, absolutely.

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#32

Thank you

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#33

I am thinking that with everything you are experiencing, Lindsey-maybe(?) remember that these crushing feelings and the loneliness will n o t last forever.

I realize that sometimes when you are in the thick of these realities, reading or hearing so may be annoying?

I am obviously not in your situation, none of us are…while we are certainly rooting for you!

#34

That means a lot because as this continues the darker my days get and like I said I am talking to an amazing friend but the emotions are exhausting. Going to work and putting on a happy face is becoming more difficult. I’m so tired and I can only stay sting for so long.

#35

Hi again!
Just want you to know that you are not alone, Lindsey!
I would be super depressed also if my family suggested an intervention and were now dumping the nonsense which they are on y o u…what the bleep?!
They sound like gaslighters.

I was in a relationship where my partner at that time did not drink, did n o t while he was into gaslighting me.

Once I started reading about these sorts of personalities, I was like w t f?!
I know it s u c k s being in such a non supportive environment…just please do remember that there are sources of support.

I will be sure to check in to see how you are doing, Lindsey. I know it may seem as if there is no point.
There are many points.
You are trying to go for a life that you absolutely deserve.

Again. Please remember that the realities will not always be this way.
If you drink, everything will get worse. I relapsed more than once after thinking-what is the point?
Things got worse.
There is a point.
You matter. And you are doing something which is not easy while worth doing. And you are worth this, remaining sober.

You have over one month of sobriety. That is huge.
Please keep going, Lindsey.:peace_symbol::purple_heart:

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#36

I am so sorry that you are going through that. It is very difficult to go through things alone. During my pregnancy I was homeless and sleeping in my car through most of it. It was the hardest time of my life. This will pass for you and things get better. Keep your head up. I will pray for you and your family. God bless you. I am here if you need a friend.

#37

Sounds like they may be not completely understand where you are at regarding your personal healing at the moment. A couple of things I have to remind myself of on the daily is ‘i am powerless over people places and things’ when people say or do things that can seem hurtful and callous-for my own sanity I have to give it up to my higher power and let it go. Let it breathe and give it up, the situation will usually shift or your perspective/theirs. Just focus on giving to you and doing what’s right for you. :heart:

#38

And find a sober community who will hang out with you! I’m still searching for mine! Lol. Slowly but surely

#39

They dont understand how sick alcohol makes you. For me I didn’t get drunk so much but I let it change how I thought.; It changed my personality. It isolated me. Besides that, I don’t care who else is drinking..I didn’t want to be around anyone in my drinking. Getting sober is for me. Nobody else. All that matters is I don’t drink.I feel dumb as a rock drinking. Also, a break from your family might be just what the doctor ordered..take it easy; theyre not going anywhere. They will 100% see a change in you. Stay committed.

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