Kate …. Welcome and it is a really good start opening yourself to these feelings as important seeking changes. Many of us can relate to how you feel and the experiences. Use this tool and the people who open themselves to listen and help you. Keep the faith each day. You got this and this community has you too!
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Kate! Welcome, you're not alone on this journey. I am not sure where you and your fiance moved to, I am I. Southern California...there's a Zoom meeting in AA called The Sunday 11 am meeting...lots of great sober people with years of sobriety and life perspectives! You can tune in on the link: thepacoimagroupaa.com Just put that in your search engine and all our zoom meetings and regular meetings are listed! It would be great to meet you on Zoom...Sundays at 11am...get there 10mins early it a packed .meeting 
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Hey Kate!! Know exactly what you’re going thru. I’m newly sober after a relapse and couldn’t agree with you more on someone to talk to. That’s what made me relapse in the first place is because I stopped talking. You ever need to talk I’m there.
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Hi Kate, I’m also new to this app and appreciate you opening up. I’m over three years sober and honestly wouldn’t trade it for the world. If you need some advice or someone to talk to feel free to reach out.
I was able to quit when I got a sober tribe (on another app called IAS but this site works too). Congrats on deciding to live your best life and also on getting engaged 
start that journey sober!
I pretty new to this app and use alcohol similarly. I also would love to have sober friends. I hope we can connect 🩷
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I'm going to do you an enormous favor, even though right now you will think I'm being an insensitive meanie.
Your current attitude, as I read it, will never allow you to get sober. You will go through this for years, because I was just like you.
You are trying to control the recovery process over a substance you have no control over. You can't see it, but I can, because I did the same thing for years.
NOTHING LESS THAN COMPLETE AND TOTAL SURRENDER worked for me.
"Countless vain attempts to prove I can drink like other people."
"The great obsession, that one day, I will be able to control AND enjoy my drinking"
These are the 3 ideas that must ABANDON immediately.
- I can drink safely, and enjoy myself.
- I can get sober without doing the work.
- I can get and stay sober by myself.
Until you aband those 3 ideas completely, I fear you may be in for a long road of failure, disappointment, and pain.
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Get brutally honest with yourself immediately! For me, that meant I needed go to 3 meetings a day, for 10 months. The obsession, was always there, just beneath the surface.
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Do some things that other people who are sober suggest that I do, regardless of how silly, beneath me, or unimportant those things were. I.e. show up early and make the coffee, stay late and put away the chairs.
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When the obsession returns to my brain, get off my can and turn to someone I can help. If no one is around, open up this Loosid app, and read other people's problems. If you have experience with what they are struggling with, try and help.
NOHING IS BETTER INSURANCE AGAINST A DRINK THAN INTENSIVE WORK WITH ANOTHER ALCOHOLIC.
The sooner you come to realize that your solution isn't coming to a meeting or chat room seeking help, but coming to the same meeting or chat room to give help, the quicker you get well.
I truly wish you well. Ask for help when you need it. Then immediately turn to someone and offer help.
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