No one you could hurt, but lots of people you could help by staying sober. You’re helping me and the others on here right now by posting.
Our disease tells us that we’re not worth it. This is a lie. You are worth it and worthy of good things. We can be of service in sobriety. Get to a meeting and share your experience. Remember, if you’re sober today then you are a miracle. 
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Amen to that Matt
Kristina  you are not alone anymore. We are a huge family in recovery throughout the whole world. We have all been there through the pain through the hurt through the sorrow.
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Hey. I can relate to what you said. I lost my whole family as well. To death or b.s. I refuse to go back to drugs. I am also experiencing a lot of grief. Their is a rainbow after the storm. Contact me if you want. I will respond.
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You have you! And that’s important! I’m 2 years sober. You can do it! I did! Message me anytime!
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Kristina hang in there you have this. This journey is new for me too
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Thank you Kristina for your post and honesty. That has to be tough. As I get older and the previous generations begin to leave this life at a more rapid pace I envision this and it scares me, momentarily...
I am then reminded that yes WE are a massive community. We have a great purpose. A higher purpose if you will. that will never die. It will ONLY grow... You are NOT alone, and just as you entered this world without many friends, and made a life full of them, you will again do so. Only this time with more wisdom, patience, etc etc.
You are where you were designed to be. Loneliness is a by product necessary to bring us closer to self and higher power. Amongst many other things. All pain has purpose. It is our job to find it and embrace the lesson therefore embracing even the pain.
I dont know your pain but I know pain all to well. He has been my closest companion always with me for half of my life now. There is so much purpose in it though and my job is to purpose that pain in a manner that glorifies my higher power and therefore gives me purpose... Simple concept yet so very difficult to apply...
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Before I got sober I walked away from all of my family but by God's grace I'm coming up on 10 years sober and I've managed to establish a very strong relationship with my family
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Thank you
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Sorry for your losses
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We are here for you
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The grief and pain at times seems unbearable, I spent 27 years wasting away every year same time every year. The nightmares start the drinking becomes the only way to escape. The horrific death of my wife and daughter play over and over and over and i nearly lost my life or cost someone theirs for no reason other than my alcoholism.
This year I am sober and so far have made it through the anniversary of my wife’s death and my daughter’s birthday yesterday for the very first time. I now have 67 days sober and honestly because of people like you and countless others who helped me realize that I’m not alone. So please remember your not alone and there is no reason to feel like you are, just reach out it really feels a lot better than just drinking or using.
I’m here anytime
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Our God is limitless and all powerful, even if it’s hard to believe just talk to him especially in desperation cry out if necessary. Tell him you need his help and trust that something amazing is about to happen. Lay all your burdens at his feet and ask for help, I promise if you do this & mean it he will give you peace and show up for you.
Ignore the "god will do stuff for you" comments. That ain't happening.
Please please please get to an AA or NA meeting. You will find so much, IN REAL LIFE, support.