They told me... It's not the number of times I fall that count, rather the number of times I get back up!
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You got this brother. Addiction is cunning, baffling and powerful. Do not let this slip make you falter, you are strong and worth it.
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Thank you.
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True
The way I see it is, there's an entity watching over you and after 4 years of work on you, you decide to slip, as most of us do. He in turn says, hum, we must not have put him through enough to make him see how good life is without the poison, so let's make it harder for him this time and maybe, just maybe he'll take a harder look next time.
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I was quite surprised to learn that my drinking was a symptom of of my disease.
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Eric try not to be so hard on yourself. The point is you lived to tell an extended version of your journey. You can do this! Praying for you! 
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Thank you
Everyone deserves support
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Thank you