I entered AA because I had no future. All I knew was I couldn't stop drinking or smoking pot and,I had hurt everyone I ever met. AA shows me I am on a equal playing field with thousands of other people. We don't all get along. But we all have access to the miracle of Sobriety through AA. Through actually following the written directions in the Big Book (alcoholics anonymous) as my sponsor directed I was given a deeper Freedom and Sobriety than I could ever have imagined.
I was dry until I was pushed to work the steps. I knew, I felt there was a ticking clock saying "you aren't safe until you figure out this big book." Just like getting to AA I couldn't get through to Sobriety on my own.
AA surrounded me with friends. People who were versions of my addiction. We drank different amounts. We hurt everyone in different ways. But we all understood our true freedom and life began in a plain simple room where people brought their own blue book.
Since working the steps with D. I have had cancer three times. I have been married and divorced sober. I have received much counseling.
But all the while I haven't picked up a glass of alcohol.
Not because I could ever stop. I am a alcoholic.
I am a drunk.
Alcohol is poison to my entire life.
I can't love using it.
I can't care for anyone if I am drinking.
I have no friends, no future and zero hope if I drink.
Knowing All of this deep in my bones because of AA and the living people in our rooms isn't what keeps me sober.
It's to me, a miracle which started when I was in the deepest darkest deadliest hole. When I asked a new friend -" do you still go to those AA meetings?" Surrendering to AA/God as I understand God wasn't a full choice on my part.
-I just didn't want to be insane, suicidal and achingly desperately alone anymore.
We can become the Amazing people we secretly always wished we could be in AA.
It all starts with surrendering...
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That was awesome I needed to read what you said and it’s been more then helpful. Thanks 