I have a few lonley days, other days I just have a collection of day at a time books, a little prayer and the books can make the difference, I know that loneliness is of my own making, going to after meetings can be a good step to meeting others. If I want change I have to pray for it then take the steps. It has been a very lonley year for everyone, this sickness that brings fear, knock and he will answer, ask and you shall receive....
Lynn, you're listening to and are in a battle for yourself. I know you probably don't share the same approach to life as me but there is a spiritual world among us. It can be proven very easily .
The battle is over you and I and the battlefield is our minds. Whoever influences the mind , good or bad, wins.
You may have "tried God" like many of us but He is the great recycler.
The constant pressure of feeling overwhelmed and depressed has to be addressed immediately.
Getting medicated properly will help.
Lynn, right now it's only you. It's not likely that someone will knock on your door and say "Hey Lynn we heard you were struggling with life and want you to come live with us and together we will get you back even better ".
You will have to manage your own humanity. In all its weaknesses and strengths and disadvantages and needs.
Sounds like a big job to us who get overwhelmed with life easily. But doing the next small step makes a great difference.
Cut a deal with yourself and admit that you're human and you have real needs. Deal yourself back into the game. You'll have to manage your grief and get a new grip together.
You can get there quicker if you can stay connected with others like this online.
Life is messy but it doesn't have to stay meaningless and chaotic
God is good. He will help you.
Thank you Steve well said...and I will keep trying...I'm not ready to give up yet... when I made that 1st post and admission really felt I'm not liking it here. 
I since embraced my alone time...and going to start creating a list of things I always wanted to do or enjoy doing. I'm feeling a connection to my soul. It's all good. Now I'm gonna wash that gray right out of my hair, and have a Calgon moment.
Thanks Scott for your reply,, believe I'm going to try that meeting.
Tom I love books...my favorite past time is reading. It relaxes me...I checked out a couple books I'm still in the process of reading, however, when I get off work my mind seems to shut down. But I do love reading...had bookcases in every room of the house at one time, even the hallway 
Tge days blurr into days that blurr, but I stay tge course ,I do my best to give it to God, try and pray for hope and more Hope, even if I had the car the house and whats behind door number 3,its whats in my heart, its what I had in the mornings getting ready for grade school, thats the self just me against all, that's all I have, how do I deal with that, I work, I smile I hope and pray, that the feeling of being alone and not enough stays away. The Devil comes around to check on me every once in a while, I think that's what your texting..
Give it to God. He knows your struggles and wants to rescue you. I have had so many day ones and finally decided to put all of my problems in his hands. Hope this helps. Not a bible banger or judgemental. Hope this helps. If not there are did ways to get sober. Best of luck