I have told myself all the people I used with and hung out with were associates keeping myself at arm's distance from everyone in my life it probably helped this idea formed when my family showed me through their actions and behaviors the world wasn't safe or considerate of others or at least me. I still have compassion for others but reduce my dependency on anyone for any relationship. I trust others to look out for themselves and they've shown me I am easily passed over however, a lot of this is my fault I've made myself a background character in my own life trying to induce change indirectly to avoid the discomfort of confronting those around me. Making myself an outcast or working independently not asking others for help because I have so many examples of being let down. I'm lying myself to be vulnerable allowing myself to be unique and allowing myself to form intricate friendships deeper than surface level. I know it will hurt eventually but not forming them hurts so much more feeling alone 24/7
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