e causa ignota
“of unknown cause”
Often used in medicine when the underlying disease causing a symptom is not known.
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So I’m beginning to find myself meditating more and more.
Anywhere, everywhere, and at all times day or night.
If I’m a creature of habit, and I’m pretty sure I am, this IS a really good habit to pursue, ad nauseum. 🫶🏽
It’s a new way of life, e causa ignota. 
It could explain, in general terms, what the actual fluke is driving my Mom toward doing these unthinkable, unimaginable, very deep, dark, and dangerous things…
…TO EVERYONE SHE’S EVER LOVED.
And I say loved, past tense, because rarely have I ever known anybody who would do these things to their loved ones and refuse help, become reclusive, and further isolate themselves.
Apologies, I stand corrected.
This is the type of behavior someone experiencing mental health issues could do.
It’s a subjective thing, I guess.
I’ve been hurt, more and less by addicts very much similar in this calculated, premeditated way.
I CAN TAKE IT. Fool with my Son, my Nephew, my Sister, ex-wife Dez, Phillip & James and ANY of you reading this.
I will put my armor on and die in battle defending you.
Period.
Honorable Dad fought for this country, the minimum I can do is fight for you, the homeless, mentally handicapped, 
LGBTQ, Broken Folks… and millions others like me.
And yes, that includes My Horrible Mother.
I love you, Mom.
I forgive you.
Please, please, please forgive me.
You will-uh, be-uh, held accountable for-uh, all-uh, you’ve done.
This, this I have to step back and let you handle on your own…
Good luck.
Still your Son,
T
🫶🏽:pray:t4:
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For it is by self-forgetting that one finds.
It is by forgiving that one is forgiven.
It is by dying that one awakens to Eternal Life.
Amen.
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"There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self." - Aldous Huxley
