I’m in recovery but my husband has no intention of quitting drinking. He doesn’t believe he has a problem bc he doesn’t drink as much as I did but he still drinks a lot. At least 6-10 beers every night. Yes I was a blackout vodka drunk and finally decided to go to detox and get my life together. My husband is supportive of my sobriety but doesn’t want to admit that he is also an alcoholic. I love him very much and wish he would take this journey with me but he has no inclination whatsoever. He irritates me when he gets a buzz on but I find myself pretending it doesn’t bother me just to avoid arguing. It’s so frustrating I really don’t know what to do.
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This is what I am going through as well. My husband said he would quite with me but he is hiding drinking actually and I can always smell it . He doesn’t think he has a problem either and he usually drinks about a 12 pack and a few shots a night. I was the blackout vodka girl .
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It’s a hard truth but you gotta distance yourself from things that are causing you harm. If alcohol causes harm and your significant other brings alcohol around you then he’s harming you. I’d say that’s pretty abusive and rude.. doesn’t he want the best for you ? I went through the same thing and the outcome was my fiancé died from this disease. I hope you can find the help and support you need 
. Alcoholism is miserable and heartbreaking im sorry your going though this.
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I’ve seen so many friends die from this disease. I truly believe if you stay around people using one of the two of you will have complications. Im not trying to be a downer it’s just the sad truth. If i went back to using i know i’ll die. Stay strong stay safe.
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Thanks for your response. You’re very right. I’m at the point that I can’t live with alcohol anymore so I’m trying to make a major change in my life. My husband has never dealt with any of his issues so I’m assuming that’s why he doesn’t want to stop drinking. He’s never angry or abusive to me he just won’t give up his beer. I’ve asked him to go to a meeting with me but he refuses. I know I can’t change him I can only change myself. He realizes he’s lost his drinking buddy. We’ve been together for 10 years and I can’t imagine my life without him. Drinking for me at this point is a matter of life or death. I choose life. I just wish he would.
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So sorry to hear your going through this. I feel you. That's hard. I know I don't know you but I'm proud of you for realizing you need to take care of yourself.
This is probably old news to you, but I had a lightbulb moment last year when someone explained to me that boundaries aren't about making rules for other people, they're about saying what you will do in order to get what you need. You're totally right that you can't decide for him. All you can do is let him know what you will do to get what you need if he's not able to join you on this journey.
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He’s not ready to make a change, even if you are and have.
And if you can’t be around his drinking for your own mental health and well being you have some hard decisions to make. I know that’s hard to come to terms with, but take decisions and life one moment at a time and do what’s going to be best for your future.
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Hello Emily, congratulations on making the decision to be sober! I think focusing on sobriety for myself is key, but I don't mind being around alcohol. It was to be a person's choice though; we can't choose that for someone else. Whether your Husband goes sober or not I wish you a happy sobriety, and both of you a life long loving and supportive life together.
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