I have never been an alcoholic. I have always hated alcohol because of lifelong trauma. That didn't stop me from doing harder stuff. I have always been sober but not always clean. I've been clean for 10 years now but I still haven't been able to get the peace and stability I crave in my life. I keep letting alcoholics into my home or my life and it ruins everything every single time. I moved my sister down here from another state for a better more sober life but she's squandering it. I had a man I thought was solid but he let his alcoholism cause way too many problems. Now I want to leave it all and go live somewhere alcohol will never be allowed.
The peace you get in sobriety comes from the work we do in our programs. What program are you in? Peace is possible, but you have to work at it.