I am in unfamiliar territory. I have never been sober this long before. I have never experienced depression like this before. These last couple days especially have been fcking BRUTAL. I came very close to going to buy a bottle. Very fcking close. But I didn’t. I’m trying to be extra kind to myself tonight.
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This ain't good Rachel. You've been to meetings and you have some phone numbers now. USE THEM. call/text people. Do something with some sober people. Have some sober hangouts and get out of your own head.
I'm proud of how long/far you've made it. You have to use the tools you have. Reaching out here is good, but please reach out to the AA folks you've met.