14 months clean. Joined some dating sites and get asked

14 months clean. Joined some dating sites and get asked to go out for drinks often. I don’t know how to handle this. I’m not big on being open right away. It is on my profile that I don’t drink.

1 Like

You don't have to answer if you want to go. Go order what you want. It's your friggin life not the boozes. I'll take a virgin Martini please shaken not stirred.

1 Like

I just googled virgin martinis. Not a bad idea. Thanks.

You are welcome :blush:

Congrats on 14 months Irene! I put myself out there on the dating sites and was open from the start. It’s been a challenge to find someone that doesn’t drink and understands what Alcoholism is about. I’m being honest about my sobriety but no such luck. I’ve since then put searching on hold. I’m giving this one to God.
I did go on a few dates and had a few short lived relationships and yes a few did order drinks on our date. Which I was able to say no and let them know that it doesn’t bother me if they drink. But ultimately if the relationship was ever going to work I think a non alcoholic or drinker would be best for me. Good luck :four_leaf_clover:
I’m not a fan of mocktails… I’ve tried them and what’s the point? Water or herbal teas… :laughing:

1 Like

Congratulations! Dating can be difficult since everyone is so unimaginative and the best thing they can thing of is a bar setting!

1 Like

There are people who understand. I'm seeing a woman who doesn't seem to mind the breathalyzer I have on the car. I do try to suggest a coffeehouse for the first date. I think it's hard to date these days even before my mess and nature's mess. Reach out anytime we could swap stories lol😂

Take a stand.when you need to.some times people like to walk over use.pay attention.don’t let your guard down.and watch your drink’s for alcohol.bartender’s are sneaky.

I don’t respond to it. For me, person needs to be sober..or it will never work.

I date online and mention in my profile that I don’t drink. After chatting with someone I will say I needed to quit. Most people understand what that means, I don’t advertise my recovery nor do I hide it. But I never meet at bars or for “drinks”, it’s never going to work if that’s the lifestyle they live.

For me, having started dating for the first time since being sober 4+ years, being upfront has been very helpful.

It immediately weeds out people who have a questionable relationship with alcohol or that sobriety is a deal breaker. It also makes it where I don’t have to dance around avoiding “meeting for drinks”. It’s built in upfront and authentic. Which is a overall intention I am trying to embody with my post-drinking life.

Although I have no clue if this is valid, it seems that the quality of people who’ve decided my sobriety wasn’t a problem, have been a better match for me as well. That is more anecdotal that verifiable. But so far there has been no one I’d classify as strange. For the most part very authentic, grounded and seemingly secure.

Wishing you luck.

I have had dating apps since tinder came out and not once has anyone asked me out. Man, the different experience of men and women is stark.

I just tell people either I’m allergic or I don’t drink.