15 days sober, was 9 months up until last week on hand sanitizer and took to many meds was hospitalized on psych unit due to so much stress and from my ex.
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Don’t let anyone else steal your energy or who you are. Regardless of what your ex did, you took the hand sanitizer, he went home and watched a ball game, read a book or does whatever he does. Meanwhile, you’re stressing yourself out, your caretakers out, your friends out while he’s taking a nap. Whatever the issues are between you no longer matter, he’s your ex. If you found whatever you were searching for to rationalize what happened, I have news for you, it’s not going to make a difference anyway. Regardless of how misguided someone’s feelings are, they are still their feelings and only they can change them. So, trying to “wonder“ as to what happened? It’s a road to nowhere.
If you have a relationship in which you can converse with the racks, simply set some ground rolls to limit your exposure. If your ex is not open to such an idea, there are free legal services at your disposal that will create a “rules of engagement“ type document.
This may seem radical, or even nonsensical to go after the person that causes your pain, but pain is the reason why we use. It’s no more than a simple, numbing agent that affects some people more viciously than others. Along with stress, watch out for pain, stress’s ugly cousin, Guilt. More often than not when you have a fight with your ex you’re forced to recall how you would’ve done things differently and pain, stress’s ugly cousin is waiting in the wings just to make you feel worse than you already do.
Do yourself a favor. It’s a way to stay healthier than you are today. It’s a pretty simple concept, and it goes like this. If you want to have the least trauma filled life, avoid the trauma you create for yourself and other people. The person who lives through traumatic event, understands it from a different perspective because they lived it. The person who did not through that experience, thinks two things, the worst case scenario and what will I do next time when this happens. In turn the transferred anger is dropped at your doorstep, like anvil.