5 years sober followed by 7 years of drinking and by February this year I was an anxiety and depression ridden disaster that could not sleep, focus or think clearly. I longed for the happiness, clarity and physical health I used to have when sober. I stopped drinking, started going to meetings and committed to rebuilding. Problem is now I am over 50, have less energy and am separated, going through a divorce. I’m not happier, not healthier and don’t feel any better mentally so why am I doing it?
Because unless you have a crystal ball, you can not see the future. You know how you felt sober and you know what you feel like in active addiction… 50 is not old by any means, the energy can return if you start looking after your health, and mental clarity will get better. I have been through a divorce… it sucks even if it is the best thing. But wallowing in self pity and a woe is me attitude will not help anything. I hope you find peace man. We all deserve it.
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Why, hm let's see. It will kill you. Good enough?
Nothing stays the same. You won't have what you used to.
Feel like having doesn't mean you have to.
You did it before do it again. You know you want it and you know you. So do it