Can you sit at the beach? Work on grounding? Realize all the help you've brought to people. You're important.
Maybe start with your sponsor? Talk to them about what just happened. If they arenât helping, start sharing whatâs going on with you at your meetings. Get numbers.
We definitely have to seek out and create our support system. More meetings. Get numbers, make calls. Your higher power loves you brother.
Hey Mark are you still in here? I read your bio which if thatâs your work opens up itâs own issues if self worthâŚ
Mark, I get it 
I also struggle with horrible depression. Honestly though, suicide is not the answer. I too have a small support system and no family I can turn to. You have to be stronger than the bad thoughts. I sent you a friend request so we can talk if youâd like
Hey man: I'm going to give you my phone number. You can check with the admin here that I'm OK. I just added you as a friend. I have experience in this area. Thank-you.
You are not alone my friend. I know this feeling. I know that the world can see a person shining on the outside when inside you a screaming for help. You need to get safe, even if that means giving up some control, but I, we, these people, are here.
I have completed some self reflection obviously there is a story here but i appreciate everyone's attention. I'm sorry to take the time out of your day to cause worry or conflict
You are a true miracle. Never forget that.
Donât give up man. Things will get better. Youâre not alone. Reach out to me personally anytime.