I was alcohol free for 270 days and then something unexpected happened. At the time it felt so painful that I decided to drink again. I was trying to make it through work without crying constantly but the alcohol actually had me feeling more emotional. I felt so much better when I had alcohol out of my life. I used to drink almost everyday and be under the influence at work. I started to drink on average a bottle a day and often times on lunch break. I started to feel so miserable and even suicidal and wondered why I felt that way. I went to the doctor and asked to be put on antidepressants but took it for 1 day only .. it felt like awful. The reality was the drinking was the issue. I remember the doctor telling me I had elevated liver enzymes. That was obviously a huge red flag. Anyways, I am feeling so much better today & I am 2 days alcohol free.
If u have resources like a gym or trail to walk on. Get your endorphins flowing. I'm over two yrs off the sauce and still need a bit of help from the gym, antidepressants and anxiety meds. Be really honest with your primary physician and let him/her/they whateve, know exactly how you feel. You would be surprised at exactly how many people in the medical field are recovering and non recovering addicts who will listen and help you get balanced out.
Sobriety is like an uphill roller coaster. You’ll make mistakes but come out stronger and better than you were before. That will happen this time as long as you continue in your efforts. You’ve got this 
You got this! You are worth it!
I think it helps to change your mindset. When I realized that there was no benefit of drinking alcohol for me I didn't even want it anymore.
I took the antidepressant before I realized the alcohol was making me miserable but after I stopped drinking I felt better.
Sounds like alcohol is the problem. If you remove it, things should improve.