I’ve felt this way before.. many times.. Your choosing self care and real love for self by choosing sobriety. Sobriety and recovery = long term gratification. I was for many years a chronic relapser.. but in time .. after continuously creating the life I didn’t want. I realized I’m the creator of my life and it was time to ask my every day several times a day am I creating the life I want ? Am I doing things to create the life I want ?? meetings ..sponsor ..I love the life I’ve created it wasn’t easy …great things take time and embrace being uncomfortable to get to the good stuff! I have over two years of recovery 
love 
light and 
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Get.
To.
AA.
Meetings.
ASAP.
There is where you will find support. Seriously, it's not a bunch of boring depressed depressing people. You need sober people to hang out with!
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Hello, my life was totally out of control and I was so miserable and depressed with alcohol and meth, my PO. gave me a choice of a structured homeless shelter or jail, I chose the shelter for 3.5 months and bought a car, got a job and my driver's license, it probably saved my life and I feel great and have my self respect and confidence back, I'm going to be celebrating 10 months clean in a week, try to do something every day to make your life better and you will get stronger every day , Michael
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Try to get to any meeting you can , na , ca , aa , try to listen to people and reach out , it’s your life no one else’s , I have 67 days sober today, because I went to meetings and reach out hope that helps
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There’s hope! Don’t give up. Reach out. Ask your local AA group for help. You’re not alone. I’ll message you! I’m 34 days today and in rehab. There’s life after meth friend.
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This is not a short term thing. You are doing this for you. In time, the people who matter will be there for you. You will meet them in your travels, at meetings, or other places and under similar/different circumstances. As time goes by you will begin to appreciate how important this was for you and how the decision that you made to get sober so long ago will benefit you. You also have a good support network here too! You will not be alone on your journey.
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It sounds like the OP has a different DOC than alcohol. I would suggest skipping AA and going to NA if drug abuse. There is a certain ego that AA participants exhibit, especially when it comes to drug abuse and being open to. Even in here, the mention of marijuana gets the ignorant out in full force.
Totally depends on the meeting. I identify as an alcoholic not because alcohol was my DOC but because the big book describes me and what happens to me when I take a drink or a drug.
I’m sorry this has been your experience in AA. I love AA, it saved my life. Not all meetings are like that.
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Nobody can do it alone! Get to a meeting 
With help it is possible. I have felt down and still do but with support I am picking myself up again. Currently 4 days sober again.
What we don't understand a lot of times alcohol and pills create a mental health issue on their own for instance the hangovers make me so depressed that I would appear bipolar to people some stimulants are so good they make you feel great and then to come down looks exactly like bipolar disorder the ups and the downs are ridiculous my problem was my ups and downs continued after I stopped using but I've never been diagnosed with anything I don't even go to see doctors about it
I totally get that .I had all the friends in the world "true homies"Until I put the bag down . Soon as I did that they I got ghosted . I struggled trying to understand that . One day I realized,if I made a decision to get clean for the BETTER ,and they can't respect that ..then they were never my friends anyways m here I am 7 months clean living my best life . I will tell you this ..the sun is alone and that MF STILL shine . Stay strong ! U got this
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Your not alone! Sending all my love 
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Read the Bible from front to back.
I agree with Michael O. Not all meetings are like that. Especially meetings with more young people. My sponsor is an old timer, 43 years sober, and when he leads, he always says "it's impossible to tell my story without mentioning drugs". Chuck doesn't give a fück, haha. I know people in the program that also will not intro themselves as an alcoholic, they just say their names. Also OP could look for secular AA meetings. We don't push on the alcoholic/addict title at these meetings either.
Also, she mentioned needing to be "sober" in her post. So there's that.
Uh, wut?
You are not alone! I am here if you need another person to talk to. I am in Northern VA and can be some support! 
Please feel free to friend me on here. Also, know that those people want the pipe and it's effects. Work to find people who want you and all you are about. You CAN do this...slowly!
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Hey! I know you’re getting support here from all sides, and I’m going to join in that cheerleading. I never believed I would have “fun” again when I got clean & sober. After about 5 months I was able to attend my first event without using substances. It was not easy. But it was more rewarding than anything I’d done before. The “real” me was coming alive and there was so much more power in my identity and interactions. Being me attracted beautiful healthy souls that were alive and engaged with living a life that is raw, authentic and meaningful. I concur that you CAN find community in 12-step meetings and there are 10,000 a day all around the world virtually. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! 
You got us you got meetings room you got chat room you got phone lines meetings you got lit readings you can since your new do a 90 meetings in 90 days
And it's all free next to you being new cause your pain shared paid for the seat you will be sitting in
With the solution being the recovery room where you can learn about your uncomfortable thinking and may have met a friend through empathy.
So yeah check it out and good luck to you
God bless
All i can say is hit those meetings!