2 days is hard

4 days in and i did it again. Feels like a smoker without a cigarette for 8 hours. I made it past yesterday and here I am again.

Got a 12 pack thinking well 3 here and there and now im 9 down. Same day.

I could easily drink 12 more and not know what I did, wake up and hate myself.

I dont puke or get sick, i just get mean. I do things i dont remember and deal with the shame, of what that other guy did, because thats not me.