2 weeks ago I had 5 months under my belt and I graduated an amazing rehab. However I wasn't ready yet and I've relapsed. This has me depressed to the point of wishing for death. Please, I don't know anyone who's on this app and I really need to talk.
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Relapses happen to most of us, don’t beat yourself up. Try to reframe it as a learning opportunity. What was the trigger, and what could have been a better response? That said, I’m not sure if trackers are really all that great. Sure I love watching mine go up in numbers, but it also can make a relapse even harder to deal with than it already is imo. Don’t despair, get back on track, and be proud of yourself for not giving up. You got this 
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Hey Lydia. I added you.
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Just added you too 
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Hi Lydia - I feel what you say. I had graduated from two residential rehabs in the past, and used right after discharge. The reason that I did was that I left those sheltered, community environments and thought that I was good - while my addiction was waiting for me right outside the door. I should have gone to a 12 step meeting within 24 hours of release, and self-identified myself as having just got out of rehab. The love & support of others just like me was there for the grasping - As well as additional tools to help myself stay clean. That’s in the past and I forgive myself and with the help of others I am well on my way in my recovery.
Don’t give up! It’s a road we’ve not traveled before. I have learned that “I can’t, but we can”. Rehab wasn’t a waste for you - you can use the tools you learned as you move forward.
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You are not alone. Keep your head up and keep your heart strong. It’s never too late to start over 
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