26 days sober and I’ve never wanted a drink so badly. I’m so stressed out. I start my new job tomorrow and don’t feel at all prepared mentally. I just have so much going on in my life right now. I’m staying with my mother in a tiny 2 bedroom house sleeping on an uncomfortable couch. My mother’s 80 year old mother-in-law is also living here. I am staying here because I can’t go home. My husband was abusive. I’m trying to stay positive but it’s so unbelievably difficult. I need to excel in the job so that I can save up to move out. My mind isn’t in it. I can’t eat or sleep. My mother is driving me insane trying to control my every move. My husband has my car so I’m stuck in this house. She has wine and I am so tempted. I just want to forget.
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I was not in the exact situation but a pretty shitty one and I felt very similar. Went to a meeting and a guy with 16 days sober changed my mindset instantly. He said he'd just completed a program and was sleeping underneath the overhang outside the meeting house in the pouring rain because he had nothing and no where to go. Yes our problems and struggles are real but they can always be waaaaay worse. Don't believe me? Pick up a drink and find out. It always makes it worse, not better. That relief is only temporary then your feelings are still there when it's gone but even worse because the shame and guilt build on top of it. This is only temporary and things will get better. You made a huge step in the right direction by reaching out. Hit some Zoom meetings and keep talking with people in recovery that will remind you why it's always worse to pick up! I'll be praying for you!
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Hey, Kylee, stay strong. Please don’t let his abuse of you and the difficulty situation affect ur resolve to get better, to feel better, to be strong. Get thru tonight and you’ll be so proud of yourself tomorrow.
I totally hear u about the anxiety of a new job. I’m the same way. Alcohol won’t make you feel better tonight or on the job tomorrow. Try to think of the positive things that impressed them enough to hire u and focus on ur strengths. A few days will go by, you’ll meet ur coworkers, start learning ur position. It will get easier. Nobody knows what all ur going thru. And they don’t have to. Smile a lot and treat the job as an escape and a welcome distraction to ur home life. It is so hard to see life right now on the other side of an abusive relationship and the pains that come w changing ur life for the better. It’s hard. Your future really is bright tho. Try to believe in yourself.
Tonight if u can take a bubble bath or long shower, have some hot tea or lemon water, pray or meditate, watch a funny show. Breathe deep and try to rest. Tomorrow is a new beginning! Hugs! I’m praying for you!
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So, I know it can be very hard believing that there's anyone else out there who can relate when I've got the blues, but I do relate to a couple of the things you hit on. As a matter of fact, our lives are seemingly all but parallel, based on your post. And I won't get into detail about it, but if you'd like to hear my story and how unnervingly similar it is to yours, feel free to inbox me. But I can offer you this, that it takes hard luck to raise Hope and Faith, and there's no shortage of either on rock bottom. "Hold on, I never said I was on rock bottom. " And if that's what you were thinking, then I have some great news for you. There's Hope. Now you got to do is throw in the faith. Half the work is already done!!! 
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Stay strong Kylee! A short term solution is not going to help you achieve the bigger picture! Alcohol is no one’s friend. It takes more than it gives. It’s not worth it! You got this! 
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I hope you made it through this hard time for you.
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One day at a time
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Thank you all for the support! I made it through and didn’t give in. You guys all helped so much. That was a close one. Today is a better day. Got a gym membership. Going to workout to keep my mind occupied. Thanks again! Much love 
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So glad you used your sober support and tools to avoid that first drink.
Drinking like I used to drink does not make anything better, but it can make everything worse.
The gym is a great focus for many in sobriety. So are meetings!! Keep up the great work 
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Get a shower and get some rest, new job tomorrow! 
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answered prayers are the best !
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Meetings-Meetings/aa. Org
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