3 years sober and I thought I could control drinking

3 years sober and I thought I could control drinking. Hated my life sober. Needless to say I’m right back to where I started from.
How can I get back on track? I cannot do another rehab. How do I get myself to want it?

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Do the do’s and the answers are in the BB

Sobriety isn’t necessarily fun. But neither is the Guarantee of jail, institutions or death. Active Alcoholism will kill. That was enough to make me want to stay sober. 18 years in and I know if I go out, I won’t come back. You can live; sometimes it’s up and sometimes it’s down, that’s life.