Today September 1, 2024 I accomplished my 1st year of sobriety. ONE YEAR SOBER!
I spiraled out of control last summer, and it nearly cost me my life. I had no idea who was looking me back in the mirror, & I was a shell of a human. I have never been more terrified. I was in complete mental anguish. When the denial finally wore off, I was left feeling helpless, & hated myself... & I mean really hated myself.
Sobriety seemed completely out of reach, even though I so desperately wanted it. Rock bottom has a basement, and I was there. I was scared to die, but also didn’t want to keep living.
I checked myself into the hospital, and spent 6 days in the psychiatric unit. I knew if I went back home I wouldn’t make it another week. I was in denial about being an addict for a long time, and finally realized I didn’t have control over it anymore. I had 2 choices. Die or go to treatment.
I went to treatment 5 hours away for 60 days. I worked harder in those 2 months than I have in my entire 32 years on this planet.
I didn’t know how to ask for help. The scariest part about addiction is how unobtainable sobriety seems no matter how bad you want it, and I really wanted it. Admitting that I am an addict was hard.
Recovery gave me everything back that I was seconds away from losing forever. I still live with a immense amount of guilt, but I’m desperately trying to turn that guilt into motivation to never let this happen again.
I work on my sobriety everyday. I hold myself accountable. & I choose wisely who I allow access to me.
I made the choice to stay off social media for the last year, and to also remove myself from everyone who was apart of my life in active addiction.
& to everyone struggling to get sober…it’s possible you just have to want it, and put the work in. If you can put the effort it takes to be in active addiction…you can put the effort it takes to get sober.
It has been 365 days since I have put any substance into my body. & I cry thinking about how far I’ve come. I’m proud to be a recovering addict, and my life has just begun. 
