43 days and lost

I’ve been sober 43 days. I don’t know where I belong. I didn’t go blow my entire check on pills, I didn’t seek pills off the street, I didn’t take more than prescribed, but the pills and morphine were slowly killing me. I didn’t even realize I was high until I had to stop the morphine, Percocet, and Ativan and suddenly I wasn’t high anymore. I don’t understand why I’m having such a hard time. I have constant cravings and anger, I have vivid dreams about getting high, if I can’t see my pill bottle my heart starts racing! I feel crazy though because I feel like I shouldn’t be like this because I’m not what everyone thinks of when they hear “addict”. Please don’t mistake my ignorance for rudeness, I just really don’t know what to do.

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Get to a meeting of Narcotics Anonymous.

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I was like that too that’s how my addiction started to be honest was by pills that I was prescribed. Then you know I wasn’t taking too many or none of that. I was taken what I was supposed to do every day then I started realizing it wasn’t working needing a biome, and then it led to other things, you’re not rude or you’re just a voice and how you feel and I understand that addiction isn’t always about what we have is about the entire picture. What is it? You feel when you don’t have it out of control can you get anger is one of the biggest ones that we have, hope for people that you have your life come here and share. I wish you the best of luck though.

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