472 days. I still look at my tracker, not every day like in the beginning. But it’s still a tool to remind me how far I’ve come- and a reminder to keep following the journey.
Sobriety is one of the most challenging, awakening, and honest journeys I have ever taken. I am so grateful for this life I have, I am so thankful that I decided I was worth more then drowning my pain in poison.
It does get easier. Some days are still really hard, my triggers make me want to drink… but I choose to love myself and maintain my sobriety every day. I choose to show up authentic and present.
I have to manage my emotions these days. It’s still really foreign to me and seems strange to learn the basics. But, I spent all my adolescence and early adulthood avoiding my feelings. My therapy was blackouts that left me in a shame and anxiety spirals. Now it’s actual therapy.
And I am discovering who I really am. What I really like to do. Who I want to be. What I want to learn.
And none of it involves parties, bars, hookups, hangovers, and fake friendships…I look back at all those years and am amazed I found fun in the downward spiral.
I am so grateful for my sobriety, I am so thankful for the opportunity to be fully present, engaged and excited about my life. I feel honest with myself. I feel like I truly get to live my life.
I smile so big when I think about all the passions, hobbies and opportunities that are finally able to shine through!
