Looking for support from those who are non-religious/agnostic/athiest. Ive tried to open my mind up to a higher power multiple times in an attempt to stay in recovery and feel like i hit the same wall every time. I struggle to relate to those who've succeeded in following the steps because i fundamentally haven't been able to change my belief system regarding a higher power and god removing my character defects. I dont want to be a 3 stepper and white knuckler forever, but Im struggling.
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Try this link for the AA secular 12 steps. Just be willing to work on having them removed. For me, it’s more of having my shortcomings not control me vs having them removed. I’m human. I have shortcomings, and always will. I just need to work a daily program that keeps me aware of them, and helps me to be my best version of me.
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Thank you so much for your reply.
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I was not aware that there were secular AA groups that meet via zoom in my area, Im almost in tears as I write this because I really don't want to stop trying and going to meetings, but I felt like a fraud reciting prayers and felt like I was pretending in my group when I was there, the relief that just washed over me can't be explained. Thank you so much.
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Of course! We are all in this together. I also struggled with AA because of similar issues. I gave up and did it on my own many years ago. I relapsed after 25 years of abstinence. I’m not sure how I’ve been able to overcome all of the god stuff this time around, but I’m happy to pass on whatever little help I can. Keep coming back. There are literally 100’s of thousands of people just like you that are navigating these same issues. Keep an open mind. Be tolerant of others beliefs, just as we wish them to be tolerant of ours. My HP is my home group, my sponsor, my therapist, my podcasts, my therapist, and the fellowship. I have a team that is more powerful than myself. I ask them all for help. You can do this!
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That’s what makes this platform so awesome! I found info on here that I didn’t find in my AA meetings. Keep an open mind, be tolerant, and enjoy recovery my friend
Talk back to the thing in your mind that is telling you that you’re on “fragile ground “ ask it for help and what to do.
Sooner than later you’ll realize it is your HP so introduce yourself and enjoy.
That’s my opinion and what i did, ya some think I was a bit nuts for talking to myself but I’m sober still and have restored faith in myself 
Hope that helps
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I changed my entire belief system! God is not some dude in the sky. And it’s certainly not what all those conman religions say it is. God is in you! You have free will. Same for me. My higher power is a power greater than myself. So I took the help from my sober community and beat my self destructive addiction.
Don’t let semantics, religion or conditioning keep you pigeon holed!
I sponsor if interested.