5 years alcohol free and 5 months free of my addictive medication. Life is NOT as I want it to be, not even close. My only success right now is sobriety and i feel like that's really sad but at least its something.
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It is something to be proud of.
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Congratulations on your 5 year soberversary 
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I so identify with how you feel about your recovery at this point. I believe I’m right where I’m supposed to be. Moving forward ODAAT trusting n my HP. I’m here today to keep trying. I’m responsible for my efforts my HP has the results department WE are a power of example for many others. Sometimes quickly sometimes slowly 
Then what are you doing about it?