66 days and trying to understand myself. I do so much ruminating about things and relationships? What does my brain honestly think it will achieve by analyzing and running over and over things? Why so much people pleasing? Need to keep learning to sit with discomfort….when does the joy and peace start to infiltrate?….I don’t laugh anymore….seems I used to only after a few glasses of wine….fearing this is the “new me”….
Hi Gretchen. Feeling the feelings at first is hard. Thanks so much for sharing. Have you tried any 12 step meetings yet?
Welcome reach out if you feel like using! More will be revealed as you can continue on your journey God bless
I understand your questions and struggles. Thank you for sharing. It’s definitely tough getting acquainted with our new selves, feelings, thoughts, questions and emotions however there’s certainly an amount of excitement and gratitude for haven being given the opportunity and the chance to go through all of this. Not all of us that struggle with addiction get this gift and it’s not only for us and our loved ones but for the ones that addiction took that we learn and figure out the answers and means to all that recovery affords us. Not sure if that makes sense or if I’m trying to be too smart for my own good lol.
Well, I find plenty of laughter in meetings. Have you tried any of them yet?
Been attending several online…..really enjoyed them so far! But pretty serious crowds….I just feel tired….and heavy…..also lots of work stress, more like crisis actually…and I own the business so there is no running from it…requiring me to work 16-18 hour days nearly every day of the week….there is a light forming and am acquisition in negotiation now that looks optimistic. The business has not been all bad, while tiring For sure, I don’t have time to even THINK about a drink. But I feel like I can’t let my hair down, can’t relax, mind ruminating….and I think I fear this maybe being my new norm? I don’t want this to be the real me……I suppose it is fear……