67 days.... I'm bummed. I've been in a long distance relationship. We both quit drinking last year 2021 because he had a medical episode. It was a great year we were sober. We've been friends since I was 19; I'm 54. I made it 9 months but chose to partake on New Years Eve. I knew he had started again before that time. I quit again but it took me 6 months to get back into recovery. He hasn't. I do not see him but maybe once a month. I already had a discussion with him when I visited 2 weeks ago. He assured me he understood. I'm grateful that we are 6 hours away and its hard to see each other. Gives me security today. Yet, I'm disappointed and bummed. It's hard to find an emotional connection at my age. I'm disappointed but honestly have known for a while this was a potential outcome. I'm not making any decisions. It has however, become serious more for him than me although I care a great deal. I think I'll let it play out. Maybe fade away. Focus on myself. He spent all summer while I was getting sober taking care of his Mom but also getting loaded and being emotionally unavailable. I forgave him but had the serious conversation about sobriety and the life I want and need. I told him I will not have a codependent relationship with anyone ever again! Seems he didn't take heed as I could tell from his attitude on the phone and a few F bombs dropped online (against his normal character) 
that he was under the influence. I can't and won't try to control anyone else. Never going down that road again but I texted that I wasn't happy with him and got in an epsom salt bath ignoring his call. He sent a snarky remark. My life is going really well. I love myself, my kids, my home, job, and parents. I'm going to detach and continue to be 
grateful. Life...haha ain't it grand? I appreciate any input or ideas. I have a lot of experience with this sort of thing which isnt good overall but at least I see it! I might add I have years of experience in recovery but he never has.
It’s a selfish program, sobriety. You’re on a good path to a new you. Best to get to know yourself before adding a relationship to this new life. When getting sober we need to unpack our past and move on. I found changing my number, deleting old using contacts works best. Everyone is different tho. Can’t get others to get clean. They gotta want it. And you’re still young. Rewards abound when in sobriety. Keep the family and you in this new life you’re creating.
Yes thanks. I know the rules. I've had five years in AA and we started as friends. I'm 54 and had been alone for an entire decade. It's good he lives far away because I can detach. Thanks for reminding me of this fact. Honestly, I tell everyone else. The circumstances are I own my home, he owns property so no stress for anything perm. It is a selfish program. Why is it hard to be selfish sometimes? I blame it on being a Mom. I've really enjoyed the relationship with him and he never drinks around me. I just know we cannot grow. I always tell my kids not to commit for 2 years. Lol. Guess this is why I follow those rules myself!!! 
