I’ve been sober from alcohol for almost 5 years now. However, I still (very occasionally) use edibles, smoke marijuana vapes and/or ingest controlled amounts of shrooms. Anyways, my point being is that I still feel this anger from deep within whenever I’m around others who drink. Like I’m envious of those who are drinking just because I chose to quit drinking and can’t join them. Although I was a total mess whenever under the influence of alcohol, why does it still have such a huge hold on me? Even after all of this time? Any thoughts, comments, concerns, tidbits, advice, questions, what have you, I’m here to take it and learn and continue to grow. Thank you.
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I’m only 9months and thats one of my fears. Will I ever be ok being around people that are drinking? Will I always be envious I hope not. I can’t live like that and I hope you find a solution to your problem.
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Get clean so you won’t care about any substance. If you’re using one and envying the other, that’s basically comparing addictions.
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I feel the same way and so I don't go out where alcohol is. I also don't have friends lol. I get the envy tho. Maybe have a edible before you go out and have the munchies. Just DONT DRIVE
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Well said
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you should try and find some sober friends, can’t just go abouts without any fun or someone to talk to that understands
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No worries you're doing great keep it up Don't drink don't get drunk and I promise your life will change everything in your life at this point is up to prayer and energy that's it
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I haven't had friends since high school. I'm a loner by choice. I do have alot of associates. I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. I have older kids that keep me busy and a dog, house, job. I have social anxiety and don't like big uncontrolled crowds. I'm a people pleaser at work so don't have any energy after that.
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I finally gave up... Did I enjoy alcohol sometimes, yea... I guess. But it turned into a chore, (at the least) somthing I had to do every day whether I wanted to or not. I've only got 8 months (this time) but I'm so happy to be done with it. I don't miss it, praying that you're all able to feel that if you don't and you've had enough like I have.
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If you’ve got 4 years off alcohol you should get to a point where you view it as poison and don’t want it. You’ll get there
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There’s something my AA group reads in the beginning of every meeting that states that the great obsession of every alcoholic is to to drink like normal drinkers. It goes o. To say that this illusion that we may one day be able to drink like others has to be smashed. Anyway that’s enough of the AA talk. I know it’s not for everyone. My experiences have me convinced me that i need to be part of a sober community. That’s not to say I don’t enjoy the company of those that socially drink, but I do need to balance that out with my sober friends.
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In my view based on your words you haven't really had the promises come true in your life. The promises that we are promised in AA because you haven't really surrendered all of it. Only the alcohol.
A lot of people are tricked into thinking that sobriety only pertains to alcohol. But sobriety is actually free from anything that is mind altering.
The 3rd tradition in AA States that the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. It doesn't say anything about smoking weed or mention of any other drug. It also doesn't mention anything about donuts or sugar either.
Yet at many meetings many alcoholics run up to grab a donut and get their sugar fix. Sugar gives us pleasure. There's a big difference between sugar and smoking pot.
I've been around the program for a long time and I've seen a lot and I can tell you that the people that I have known that chose to do the "marijuana maintenance program" didn't lead very successful lives and they all eventually relapsed.
Based on your post I would say that you are playing Russian roulette.
The sooner that you give it all up, the sooner that you find yourself a sponsor that will take you through the 12 steps of AA, the sooner the promises will start to come true in your life.
One of the promises states that we are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
Until then all you're doing is spinning your wheels.
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I saw your reply and felt inclined to reply. I want you to be completely happy and fearless in your recovery.
If you're envious of others drinking, something is missing in your recovery. I don't miss drinking in the least. And I don't really hang out with people that drink. I have learned that they define having a good time a lot different than I do.
I can be around people that are drinking as long as I have a legitimate reason for being there. e.g. company meeting, having lunch at a booth with a friend, etc. And I can do it without any fears because I know that stuff's not for me anymore and nobody can ever talk me into one no matter what.
I believe it is truly a blessing to have sobriety and not waste my time getting Inebriated.
I had almost 9 years and then I relapsed. It cost me about 3 years of oblivion. It was a great lesson for me. I'm coming up on 9 years all over again and I will never forget that mistake.
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It sounds like you’ve given up the part that made your life unmanageable, great job 
It sounds like the obsession for alcohol is still there however, I gave up drinking for 7 years and I was absolutely miserable the entire time, it was always on my mind. I now work a program of sobriety and I’m very happy without it!!! I always hope for full sobriety for everyone but if your other pleasures don’t cause the unmanageably for you that’s great. I wish you the best
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Ahhhh, anger might be because you are just using other substances to compensate for your drug of choice, alcohol. No half measures in sobriety. Just hope that 15% you are using doesn’t kill you with a bad batch of weed mixed with fentanyl. Their mixing that poison in everything nowadays.
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