86 days sober today. I wish I could say it is getting easier but I find myself getting into a deep depression. My life has changed so much that I don’t see hope for more joyful life. I go to meetings but I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. No friends, my marriage is falling apart. I am giving it up to my higher power but I’m impatient for relief. I know drinking is not the answer and I won’t drink but The obsession that subsided is coming back.
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86 days is incredible!! You are doing it. I’m sure it took you a lot longer than 3 months to reach the desperation of alcoholism. So it stands to reason that it will take time to get everything back on track. We alcoholics tend to think that instant gratification is necessary. But this is hard. It takes hard work to repair the damage of our pasts.
Do you have a sponsor? Are you working the steps? For me the 4-7 steps were when I really started to feel like I was going to be ok.
Have you spoken with your doctor about depression? Mine gave me trazodone and Wellbutrin. I stopped the trazodone after a few months once my sleep returned to normal but I still take the Wellbutrin every morning.
Mary Jo, you’re doing great. You’re taking care of yourself. Please be patient. The promises aren’t on page 1 right? You’ll get there if you keep doing the work.
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Thank you for your kind words and support. I am on cymbalta but I do need to ask a specific person if she is willing but I have been scared to ask her but I will do it today. Thank you again for taking the time
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I totally know that feeling. All I can say is that for me it had to get worse before it got better. It’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it’s there. You know it is or you wouldn’t have come this far. My sobriety isn’t all unicorns and rainbows but it’s sure better than how it was.
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Sponsoring helps strengthen the sobriety of both people. You are not a burden to her, you are a blessing.
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Hey Mary Jo! 86 days is so amazing! While I marvel at those who have years of sobriety, it’s those in early sobriety that amaze me. None of us come into recovery on a winning streak. We come in when our lives are totally falling apart and we have no other option. Our coping skills were medicating ourselves to deal with all of life’s problems. Now we pull that all away and we are left with just life’s problems. It’s frickin tough! It takes a sh!t ton of strength, courage, and faith to get thru early sobriety. We awaken and begin to feel all the pain we’ve been running from for years. Our families and friends are angry and disgusted with us. However, somehow someway you are pushing thru. That’s faith! Faith that even know you are struggling, that you believe that if you don’t drink or drug today, that life will get better. Stay at it! Get a sponsor! It took everything I had to get up the courage to ask someone to be my sponsor. You can do it. Go to some women’s meetings if possible. You will find support and friends. I see miracles happen. You can be one of them!
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Thank you for your kind thoughts
Thank you Craig. I just reached out to her
Thank you for your kindness and the thoughtfulness. You took the time to respond and I really appreciate it
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We are in this together sister!
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I had 86 days in the started slipping on Christmas Eve, now I have had to start over. During treatment I learned that we come up against various stages. The honeymoon stage was good. The stage called the wall was a horrible stage.
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Keep going Mary Jo - with you!
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I feel for you Ann. I know about the honey moon (pink cloud) and yes it brought relief. I haven’t heard of the wall. I will look into since I feel like I must be there. It’s awful. I feel vulnerable,weak and obsessed. Trudging on