Today was 90 days sober for me. I still have cravings every now and again, but they’re getting less frequent, and don’t seem to last as long. As I go into another prolonged fasting period, I’m reminded how resilient the mind and body can be, but also how persistent memory can be.
One thing that helps to keep me sober, is my fear of having a lack of control over my motor skills, and losing chunks of time to blackouts. Even back when I was still drinking, I hated getting too inebriated to drive, or function in public, which did happen from time to time. I cant begin to imagine what would happen if I decided to have just one drink, even with a meal, but I know I’d want another, and that would more than likely push me over the edge.
Multiple members of my family have commited to sobriety, and are doing quite well, while others still drink, my father being the only one who still frequently causes problems while under the influence. The others have things under control, hold jobs, and have families, who are unaffected by the small amounts of alcohol they consume on seldom occasions.
I’m thankful for the family members I have who are sober, and can provide guidance, and support when needed. I have set strict boundaries with my father which have been crossed more than once, resulting in no communication between us at the present time. Maybe one day, when (not if) he hurts my nephews while he’s under the influence, and loses privileges to see them, he might realize that he needs to make corrections in his behavior. Until then, my family doesn’t see him changing any time soon.
As I get ready to go back on active duty after 7 years and ten months of broken service, I’ve made a vow to myself to keep my sobriety in the forefront of my daily life, and be a better Marine, and a better NCO. I’ll be able to conduct myself more professionally at all hours, and be in a better state of mind and body under pressure at all times. Looking forward to retirement at 46! ERRAH!!