A constant struggle I feel is the social aspect. I’m

Struggling Help
#1

A constant struggle I feel is the social aspect. I’m not much of a drink at home or by myself kind of person. It has mostly always been at parties, bars, or shows. Live music is one of my favorite things in the whole world, but it typically comes with getting drunk. I also just get bored at home and miss my friends so I want to go out and get out of the house, but the only places I know to go where I’ll run into people are bars. Or sometimes I think of a friend that I haven’t seen in a while and i want to hit them up, but then I remember that I’m lame now. I worry that my choice to give up booze may make them uncomfortable.

I know the people in my life would want to be supportive in theory, but like, what would we actually do that’s fun? I don’t know. The only solution I’ve really found is to completely isolate myself, but that isn’t sustainable. Its been the reason I’ve relapsed the past couple times. Partying has been such a big part of my identity for so long its hard to know what I am outside of that or if I’m really ready to let it all go, including the people I love who are still very much still living that lifestyle.

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#2

Feel for ya. Not sure if you have the means to find a therapist, but I know I found it helpful to explore those 'who am I now' questions with one. It helped me to constantly remember why I had to stop drinking, too. Instead of lame, you can try maturing? Getting focused on what you know is important for you? Quitting's a huge accomplishment. Or even just knowing you need to quit. Keep it up, keep working at it, be open to branching out, find some others like you.

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#3

I get it, I worry as well. I’ve had to stay away from situations like that. Im finally able to have a non alcoholic beer with success after a couple of months sober.

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#4

Nate is spot on. It’s time to branch out & learn about yourself beyond “the scene.”

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#5

I can only speak on my own experiences. I found self isolation to be something my alcoholic mind will use to push me into thinking I have less than I need. When I find myself isolating I try to get to a meeting asap, if I can’t get to a meeting I call another alcoholic and chat.
There are some things that I may not be able to avoid; birthdays, holidays, fundraiser, tournaments, campgrounds but those are places I want to be at. I have found success in the moments when I have a reason to be there and if I am spiritually fit.
Before I go to said events I will formulate an exit plan if my fitness and my reason for being there change. I will also have a place in mind at the event that I can temporarily retreat to, avoiding potential triggers that may pass.
:yellow_heart:

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#6

I appreciate this input and I do agree. I know that I’m not really lame, and that I am doing this to better myself. If others don’t get it, then perhaps it’s best I move on from them. I’m reading a book now called “Sober on a Drunk Planet,” and I got to the chapter on this topic right after I posted this last night. I have been thinking about getting back into therapy. I think you’re right that it would help with this identity question

#7

Lots of fun to be had in recovery. Women’s retreats, camping,conventions, bbqs. Find your sober peeps and have some fun!!

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#8

Kels, I definitely identify with your situation. I went to a bunch of different AA/CA/NA meetings every day and night until I found the meetings that I had fun at. Meeting my sober bros & sisters that I went to shows, comedies, hiking, etc. There is so much fun to be had. Just had to go about it in a different way.
I’m here if you want to talk

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#9

You’re not lame at all—just learning how to live in a world that glorifies drinking when you’re choosing something different. That’s hard.

So many of us relate to this shift… not knowing what’s fun without booze, feeling like friends might not get it, and lowkey grieving the social side of it. Isolation might feel safe, but you really do need connection, I personally think it’s a huge part of recovery.. You belong here, and we’re walking it with you.

Hang in there. If you need anything or would like any help with any of the services or resources that LOOSID community has, DM me.

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#10

We can find new social activities that are healthy

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