A short story I wrote about my first experience at an A.A. meetimg…
Imagine a gathering of people seated in a circle, confessing their brokenness, and sharing the wisdom of their experience. They speak out when prompted by an inner voice without planning, preparation, or permission. Men and women of all ages united around a shared humanity seeking Grace and Love in a culture of courage and kindness. A non-obligatory offering basket and schedule is passed to share expenses and sign up to facilitate the next meeting. It’s a gathering based on principles not personalities. The ebb and flow of how many attend doesn’t matter to anyone. This is a gathering of attraction not promotion. In closing—standing with hands held—they recite the Lord’s Prayer.
Hi, my name is Derek and I’m an alcoholic. After more than 20 years of church planting and pastoring I'd like to tell you about my new church. A place where people gather in honesty, vulnerability, and brokenness to experience healing through twelve steps. Yes, my new church is Alcoholics Anonymous. My first meeting was the result of a friend caring enough to pick me up early one morning and transport me to a church building (ironically) and a new world of hope nestled in a culture of serenity. The first time that iconic statement came out of my mouth I felt a freedom and connection to grace that was palpable. It was like a giant exhale of toxic air trapped in my lungs was released. Fresh mountain air was now filling the void. I picked up a white chip and surrendered my addiction to a Higher Power. The God of Love that I knew in my head was about to start invading my heart and transforming more than my obsession with drinking. I joined a new church that day and haven't looked back.
What comes to your mind when you hear the word sober? If you’re like pre-alcoholic me you likely think it’s simply not getting drunk. But it’s so much more. Peter instructs us “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:” 1 Peter 5:8 KJV
Sobriety is a way of life. According to other translations it’s being alert, well balanced, watchful, mindful, self disciplined, and keeping a cool head. By applying these thoughts to the theme of this book I’ve found that many who are deconstructing are “getting drunk” on the elixir of institutional church bashing and now stumbling through life isolated. Sure, they may have left an abusive, graceless “church” (rightly so!) only to become cynical and lonely. We need a tribe, a village, a community, Our soul craves human connection.
I found a tribe. A people who gather around authenticity, honesty, and a shared allergy. I’m not alone in this discovery. Richard Rohr calls the work of Bill Wilson and the twelve step program, “The American contribution to the history of spirituality.” His book, Breathing Underwater: Spirituality And The Twelve Steps, chronicles his thesis that Jesus and the twelve steps are saying the same things but with different vocabulary:
We suffer to get well
We surrender to win
We die to live
We give it away to keep it
There's a concept in A.A. called “hitting bottom” and it’s exactly what you think. The thing is, you get to choose your bottom. For some it’s getting fired from your job or your spouse leaving you. Many hit bottom after multiple DUI’s or a court ordered trip to recovery. Jail, bankruptcy, homelessness, hospitalization are all bottoms that many have to hit before yielding to the possibility of recovery. For others it may be realizing that you’re tired of the concert and T.E.D. talk approach to church and ready for something real. But once one has had enough and cries out for help they’ll find that they’re not alone. Jesus is in that basement yelling out, “Hey, I love you and I’ll be here when you fall down the steps.” This is a fall into grace. And I’m not just talking about addiction. I believe this movement of deconstruction is a means of getting people to their bottom so they can discover Truth is a person named Jesus. As a card carrying member of the church planting/church growth movement I can truly say it took hitting bottom for this revelation to take the eighteen inch journey from head to heart.
”The reason that AA has been more successful than most churches in actually helping and changing people is that it treats addiction both spiritually and as an illness, rather than a moral failure or an issue of mere willpower.” Richard Rohr
Father Rohr again…
“In fact, there are about the same percentage of people who have actually handed over their will to God in most church circles as there are such people at many "secular" gatherings.” Richard Rohr Breathing Underwater
I’m a both/and thinker. I believe in the capital “C” Church Universal and I believe in the local gathering as long as it’s a true expression of Jesus. The necessity of both the cosmic, mystical union with Christ and the local assembly where God shows up in the flesh through others each week to offer a hug to the weary and lend an ear to the broken.
“We give thanks to our Heavenly Father, who, through so many friends and through so many means and channels, has allowed us to construct this wonderful edifice of the spirit in which we are now dwelling–this cathedral whose foundations already rest upon the corners of the earth.
On its great floor we have inscribed our Twelve Steps of recovery. On the side walls, the buttresses of the A.A. Traditions have been set in place to contain us in unity for as long as God
may will it so. Eager hearts and hands have lifted the spire of our cathedral into its place. That spire bears the name of service. May it ever point straight upward toward God” As Bill Sees It - Built by the One and the Many, p. 155
If “Christ in you” is the mysterious revelation of the Good News then our theology around asking Jesus into a heart that he already inhabits and holds needs to change the way we view others. No longer insiders and outsiders, us and them, saved or lost but simply awake or asleep to the Divine indwelling reality. I’m finding that loving people well is a better strategy for this awakening than shaming them to some altar of repentance.
Wherever there is true fellowship and love between people, God’s spirit is always there as the Divine Third. In all human relationships, the Divine Spirit is what brings them together. When a life is changed through the channel of another person, it is God, the Divine Third, who always makes the change, using the person as a means. The moving power behind all spiritual things, all personal relationships between people is God, the Divine Third, who is always there. No personal relationships can be entirely right without the presence of God’s spirit.” Twenty-Four Hours A Day - May 11
Oh, and hey my A.A. brothers and sisters… Who do you think that higher power is? His name is Jesus and He is perfectly content to walk with you without being recognized. He walked on the road to Emmaus with two of his own disciples hiding Himself from them for the pure joy of knowing that they would eventually receive a spiritual awakening. He’s doing that with everyone on the planet.
I’ve presented only one gathering that Jesus always shows up at— there are many.
My point is simply that you need community. Growth, spiritual awakening, and learning how to love don’t happen in isolation. Grace beckons us toward connection and bestows miracles in relationships. You’re free to gather… Now, gather with the free!
Content is a chapter I wrote for “Free To Gather,” a book published by The Writers Society.