AA or nAAh?

Sober Curious
#1

What are some of your strategies for staying sober that don’t involve relying on meetings?
I’ve done my share of meetings and honestly I feel like it’s not for me. The same regurgitated sayings and people reminiscing on how much they drank and what they drank and all that just irks me.
To me it’s like whatever your thoughts are, is what your reality will be, so why do I want to be surround by this everyday?
It’s great if it works for you, I get it. Just curious about those who go a different route with success.

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#2

I get it Austin! In the first 5 months I was into now it’s a struggle to motivate to go to these meetings. I walk, ride my bike, tidy up the pad. Just get busy! Refuge Recovery is another option and 20-30 minutes of the meeting is meditation!
Good luck brother, hang in there!

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#3

Thanks for the input, Jay! Definitely been staying busy and enjoying life! Just got a dog Saturday so I’ve been getting my walks in for sure :slight_smile: I could definitely do more cleaning up the pad lol but yeah I think Exercise, Work, and a Hobby or 2 is a great way to stay on the right track!
Hope you’re doing great and keep up the good work!

#4

A dog is a great idea! I often wish I had one as well!
Keep on keeping on ! Stay strong brother!

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#5

I felt the same at some meetings. Nowadays I go to meetings where they talk about the solutions. Initially, for me, it was the solution to not drinking right then and there, now it’s dealing with life without thinking a drink will make dealing with life easier

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#6

I don’t know how far you are in your recovery, however being in AA has saved my life. Not wanting to be surrounded by sober people is a sure fire way to relapse.

I suggest:

  1. Remember how bad it was before you started AA.

  2. Find a sponsor you can trust.

  3. Begin working through the steps.

  4. Read spiritual teachings that are uplifting and supportive.

  5. Exercise

  6. Take up a hobby.

  7. Do some more research, try to drink like a gentleman and see if that works for you.

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#7

I take a lot of walks and solo hunt quite a bit. While it seemed lonely at first, it really forced me to be ok with myself. For me, drinking made me feel a part of, when I didn’t feel as though people cared for me as my true self. 13 years of recovery and I’m ok if I’m not a part of certain things and I’m more ok with myself. I’m not suggesting hunting, rather a hobby that you will enjoy, maybe get outside, and feel a sense of accomplishment
That and listen for the solution in meetings…

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#8

Thanks MJ!
I’m 5 months today. And definitely can’t drink like a gentleman :joy: I’ve tried that road in my day. I’m here for the long haul now.
And it’s not that I don’t want to be surrounded by sober people, it’s that I don’t want to be surrounded by people that wear the worst parts of their past like a badge of honor.
I’ve been to hundreds of meetings but have been doing a lot better now, spending that time in other ways that are still positive towards my lifestyle that I wish to have.
Thank you for your advice and hope you are doing great! :slight_smile:

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#9

I’ve definitely been thinking about getting back in the woods, that’s a great way to spend the evenings for sure! I hope you get a monster out there! :deer: and keep up the good work!

#10

I believe in the idea of meeting is a meeting and there’s no meeting that you go to this way the only thing that’s wasted when you don’t get any there’s been spaces in my life where I went to AA there’s spaces in my life where I went to N/a But their main prerogative is staying sober and clean

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#12

  1. Get a rescue pup if you don’t have one lol

  2. I personally am on mental health medications, and I speak to my therapist twice a month. The medication route is a lengthy process, and it can be frustrating at times. But it’s worth every step of the way. Antidepressants don’t make you happy, they prevent your depression from immobilizing you. They give you a fighting chance.

If you do choose this route, listen to your doctor and or prescriber. Take them as prescribed. Hold it down for 7-10 days if you experience any uncomfortable side effects so long as they don’t cause you and physical pain.

  1. Journal. I use an application called daylio. I use the free version, the free version is plenty enough you’re not missing out on anything if you don’t get the premium version and there’s no ads in the free version. Just sends you a reminder every day and you journal once a day or as frequent as you like (the inner gamer in me wont let me lose my streak lol)

But seriously, i put journaling off for years. Thought it was lame, i know how i feel i dont need to write it down all that stuff.

But journaling isn’t for you, it’s for your subconscious. If there are things you just can’t let go especially traumatic events your subconscious goes “this is important, i have to keep thinking about it so I don’t forget what I learned, it was really bad for me I don’t ever want that to happen again.” And you just spin forever in this cycle of emotions about it.

Once you write it down and get how you feel about it on something you can look back on and read, your subconscious is able to relax. Because your brain knows ok, this is where it is, and its backed up to the cloud so even if my phone broke I’d still have this here.

And then over time, you’ll realize emotions about past events aren’t as intense as they used to be. Over even more time, those things you thought you’d never stop thinking about just vanish from the forefront of your mind. Sometimes you have to write about the same thing a few times, but it all works out.

  1. Always ask for help when you feel like life is too much, and you feel overwhelmed.

  2. Remember that as a former alcoholic, that recovery involves potentially going through some things that your family and friends just aren’t qualified to help you with. It doesn’t mean that they don’t love you, or that they don’t care. Those who haven’t battled addiction genuinely don’t understand what it’s like sometimes, and that is a blessing. They are not wrong for being legitimately unable to understand, no matter how frustrating it may be.