Abusive ppl

My mother keeps insulting me and she says things to me about me that are hurtful and untrue. She lies about the things I say and do.

She tears me down for having this disease, violently calling me a drug addict, then other days violently tells me i need to be put on medications.

She calls me surly and arrogant when i am actually just keeping to myself and trying to hold it together every single day after all the tragedy i endured.

She rips into me when i forget minor things and only forget them occasionally, like leaving a knife on the kitchen counter or a couple of coffee grains in the sink.

She calls me a slob, and says i am ungrateful for living here. She threatens to kick me out and make me homeless, i have been here since feb and she has said this to me 5 times already, all while screaming at me and insulting me.

I have nowhere else to go and i have been working endlessly to find other solutions to put me in a healthy situation that i can maintain.

It is horrible. It makes my addictions worse and sometimes it makes me want to commit suicide.

I told her this to ask her to stop and she screamed in my face that she doesn't care.

I have no idea how my own mother can be this cruel and abusive towards me. She has had her moments throughout my life where she has not been sane, rational, or kind to me - but nothing to the degree and frequency of what i am experiencing from her.

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This is very sad and disturbing. Your mom is obviously suffering from her own demons. She is a sick woman. Can you see that she’s not well? Can you see she’s not going to change? Is there a possibility that you can see her a spiritually sick person? What can you do to not take her words and actions to heart? It’s going to be a huge challenge, but you’re going to need to find a way to protect your soul ODAAT. Lean on your support team to help you thru this. Use all the tools you have learned on your recovery journey. When life gets really difficult for me, I try to take it back to my primary purpose…stay sober and help others. That’s a worthy enough life to live. Screw all the other expectations from family and media. Wishing you some peace and comfort

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Maybe call any agency that can help you get out of that environment. It is not healthy for you. I will keep you in my prayers :pray::pray::pray:.

Go to a hospital. They can help you with housing afterwards. You don't have to be in this alone and you don't have to subject yourself to ridicule.

I would sit down with her and be completely honest with her. Let her know what her words and actions are actually doing to you. How they are causing you to feel. Likely she is feeling a sense of self rejection herself and doesn't quite know how to handle it. She possibly feels that your struggles are a direct representation of her parenting, this she is forcefully trying to straighten you up so she doesn't have to feel that way. My father did nearly the same thing. He seemed only to be able to focus on every little detail that I got wrong and never acknowledged the progress I made. After a couple of months of being clean and sober, I was able to approach him with a clear head. I thanked him for putting up with me in my addiction, and how it wasn't his fault for the choices I made. I let him know how much his opinion of me mattered and how his treatment was affecting me. I let him know that I was doing my best, but I really needed his support, not his ridicule. I asked him to start going to meetings and church with me. That was only a month ago and our relationship has changed drastically. But like I said, you have to be completely honest. Maybe even write it in a letter if you're worried about facing her at the moment. If your words fall on deaf ears, then I would get a mediator or counselor involved. But don't try to fight back, it won't work. Anger begets anger, and hate begets hate. We can never hope to accomplish love with hate. Praying for you.

@xandra159988 i think it's time to move out and build a life of your own.

Samsara, try to understand that ur mom may have mental illness and suffering as well. I know it is difficult to tolerate. However, it is an opportunity to have compassion.
In my 16 years of sobriety I’ve learned that forgiveness and compassion are for me to have peace.
It’s certainly not easy most of the time but it is possible.
I’m here if you want to talk or have questions.
Sending love & light your way :pray:

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I was in a similar situation, living with my mom. I eventually went back to using, for my own “apartment”. I was actually renting someone’s basement and soon found myself homeless. Two days later I checked into a rehab. Living in a basement, living homelessness, and living in a rehab was better than living with her.

I’ll go back for 2 days to visit with her over Christmas. I don’t think she’s changed much but after the two days I’ll come back to my own place independent of her.

You need to find your own haven away from her.

Samsara,
This is Blake again. Several times throughout the day I’ve thought about your situation. My addiction was substance. An outside intoxicant to alter my inner state of being. It’s how I sought comfort. Other people addiction is food, gambling, etc. my mother’s addiction is her words. When she feels threatened she attacks verbally.

Unfortunately it doesn’t end there. She will continue with abusive language and put downs until she sees the other person defeated. It’s at that time that she receives her “high”. I remember her being this way ever since I was 10. Rather, at 10 I recognized it for what it was.

People like that don’t change until they realize they have a problem. In their mind everyone else has the problem. The best thing I’ve done was to separate myself from her. Now she says that she’s very proud of me and that I’ve done so well. Guess what? After 2 days with her she will find something to accuse me for or beat me down about. When I’m silent and don’t fight back she gets even angrier. It’s in those moments that I separate myself from her for an hour or two. When I return it’s as though she realizes she was wrong because she’s very quit and keeps to herself.

I will spent 2 and a half days with her this Christmas. I’m just keeping focused on the 26th when I fly out.

Make a plan for yourself even if it means going to a treatment facility. I went to Teen Challenge.