Addicted spouse and don't know what to do anymore

Struggling Help
#22

Sent you a friend request

#23

Another 12 step programs first step is “we admitted we were powerless over alcoholism and our lives have become unmanageable”. It reminds me also that is I attempt to control the alcoholic all I am doing is sowing the seeds of resentment. I am denying them the dignity to be there own person and make their own decisions. I need to let go and let God.

#24

Detach with love.

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#25

I'm not sure if this will help, but I was the addicted one in my relationship. All tho she threatened to leave me for many years I was stubborn and selfish because I was numbing myself with alcohol everyday. I came to realize after she left me that. she wasn't telling me what to do she was trying to help me physically and mentally . And I couldn't see what mentally damage I caused her and me kids. I hope this helps.

#26

Codependency is tough.

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#28

I have been on both sides of that heartbreak. All I can say is I stayed too long and then I didn’t leave soon enough. Until your spouse is ready, you can’t do anything. Until they hit rock bottom and realize what they have, losing it won’t mean anything. You need to do what’s best for you because living miserable enables their behavior and hurts you. Hugs and prayers for you both. Feel free to message me I’d be happy to listen and help if I can.

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#29

Before my obsession with drinking started, I did have a long and intense relationship with a man who was in active addiction. No matter how bad it got - and it got very, very bad - or how many times he said he’d stop, he never did. What changed things for me was getting pregnant and having our child. Once I saw how his drinking was affecting our baby’s needs, I knew there was no way I could tolerate that. I left, he never changed and is still an alcoholic in active addiction. We can’t force someone to get sober. It just doesn’t work like that. The person has to want it for themselves first and foremost. My sister is also dealing with your situation. She isn’t ready to leave but it really impacts her life. You could make a list of all the positives of staying with this person versus all the negatives. That may empower you to make a choice that puts you first. Here to talk. Praying for you :pray:t3:

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