Hi I been dealing with a addicted spouse for a while now and would love to speak with someone who has delt with this before. This is my last resort before walking away and I really don't wanna do that but at this point I feel like I don't have any other option. I need advise and to talk to someone who has went through this
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It’s a tough spot to be in. Addiction hurts not only the one abusing their DOC but loved ones as well. ALANON is an organization that is like AA for those who love addicts. It teaches coping skills and is support network. I was horrible to my wife for years. It took a lot of hard conversations and trust building on my part to see it through. Ultimately you need to make a tough decision.. stay or go. You need to do what is best for YOU. Boundaries need to be set and held. You may need to walk. It happens a lot with addiction. You can’t force, bribe, beg, or give ultimatums for someone to get clean. Only they can make the decision. I hope things work out for you.
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I know the pain of not wanting to walk away. But believe it or not, it might be the best thing for you and for your spouse. You need to put your mask on first. And they need to hit bottom before they can make the decision to change.
It is a horrible, gut-wrenching, painful decision. But you cannot help your spouse if you are suffering. Take care of yourself first.
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I’m in the same boat and I’m an alcoholic with only a couple 24 hours. I am trying to remember he is sick and so am I, last night was bad but i didn’t engage and went to a meeting instead. Message me if you’d like I would love to have a support contact myself. Sending you love
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Thank you! I am willing to help him with whatever I can it's just so hard. All day I'm worrying about him and not focusing on myself and my needs. I can't help him if I'm mentally drained
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Ok doing it now
Thank you . Sent the request
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I have been on both sides of this. Walk away.
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The best thing you can do is help yourself and set those boundaries. Also be willing to walk away. Your own mental health should be top in your mind. Don’t get trapped in a codependent marriage. It will drag you down like an anchor.
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If they are open to treatment I can help them get treatment. Give me a call 8506860809
I am have been there and would be glad to share my story and perspective.
From my experience this person might have the perspective of "it's just one thing". A lot of addicts think "well, I'm great otherwise, except for this one thing- like you're perfect?!'
They have to realize that this "one thing', aside from being terrible and a disease to be conquered, is NOT one thing, as it effects so many other aspects of your lives.
If you feel it is safe, then sit down with them or with a professional snd find the root cause. The proverbial "why".
If you are here, that shows you really care snd want this to happen for them and you. Let them see that. Otherwise, it may be a tough love situation. Not an ultimatum; nobody likes those, but cut ties and see if it helps see the light, so to speak.
Jackie, I am currently walking thru this now. It has been going on for over a year.
Living it now and for the past 7 years. DM me and we can chat!
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I'd suggest seeking outside help from a professional. Ive been through it too but the advice you will get here is from personal experience. An unbiased objective opinion would be best.
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If you drink and/or use, whether you think it is a problem or not, I would suggest you stop and get into a program of your own. Alanon is common. There are other support groups.
Protect yourself. You cannot save someone who doesn’t want to be saved, and you are in a better position to help someone who wants help, if you have a solid foundation of sobriety to work from.
Me n u r in the exact same boat
I am in the same boat. I dont have any advice but am willing to chat if it helps. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 7 years. Been dealing with it basically the whole time.
I deff don't wanna walk away but I also need to focus on my own mental health. It's exhausting worrying and trying to control every situation everyday .he feels if he goes into rehab the kids and I will fall behind with bills but like I told him I'll actually be able to save more money because it's not being spent on a drug and in the long run it will be worth it
It's horrible