Addiction is so violent .
I’m addicted to damaging my spirit .
Things will never be the same
It truly is a b!tch! The self sabotaging that comes with addiction is so humiliating, and does a number on how we feel about ourselves. Sounds as if you are feeling this damage. You say things will never be the same …this could be a good thing! Do you want to stay the same?? Make some changes my brother. You are no different than any of us. We all start out feeling like complete 
. You can do this
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