I recently got out of a correctional facility that was extremly structured for 13 months away from my family and my now 2 year old daughter. Im scared to death of relapse and i cant stop fantacising about using cause i am wanting to seek excitment. Im a first time mother and these thoughts make me feel like a horrible mother, I am doing something different bysaying something instead of stuffing my feelings and thoughts.
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Just remind yourself, do you want that old lifestyle again...
Did you gain anything from it? ..nope just a lot of anger, anxiety, depression and loss of hope..
Just remember "One Day at a Time"
Don't let the bottle win.
You got this 
Find a NA meeting in your area and go to as many meetings as you can. I suggest 90 meetings in 90 days.
Thank you