Advice for a friend

Recovery
#1

A friend of mine called me asking for advice regarding her partners drinking problem.

It’s very early in their relationship and she’s noticing he has a serious drinking problem and it’s becoming and issue. His parents and friends have all told him to slow down. However he doesn’t think he has a problem.

I told her, from my own personal experience, it’s extremely hard to try and get help for someone who doesn’t think they need it.

She really cares for him and doesn’t want to give up on him but it’s also not the best for her own mental health and it’s not the ideal relationship.

Any advice ?

#2

Hi, Merrilee,

I agree, it’s impossible to force anyone to recover if they don’t want it. All anyone who cares about someone in active addiction can do is leave the door wiiiiiide open, share what worked for them and listen when they can.

I’ve tried and failed many times to get sober, and all my past attempts failed because I was in a similar spot to this partner; I did what I thought I “should” do to make everyone get off my back. Inevitably, these dishonest and contrived stabs at recovery failed. What’s working for me now is taking ownership of my recovery. I’m here because I want to be here.

If they’re not ready for it, sometimes all we can do is stand close and be ready to help them up when they hit their rock bottom.

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