Going on 6 months 6 days! Determined to make it a lifetime! If only I could figure out if I’m strong enough to be around those I used to drink with. Seems like I’ve been dodging every happy hour, get together, football game, work events, etc… Does anyone else have any recommendations besides dodging everything?
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Hi! Call your sponsor. I tried when I got sober and found I didn't have much in common with them anymore.
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Stay away from old friends if it triggers you. Always have an out if you do. Witch means drive your own car.
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Hi Erin, there are some friends that I still see and some I do not. When I do go to social events that there will be drinking I make sure that I have ample NA beverages to drink, drive my own car, and I get an accountability text group going so I have people to check-in with. What I found was that I really didn’t want to go to events where everyone was getting wasted, I found new friends who had similar interests to my sober interests and it worked out. They aren’t sober, but they also don’t hang out just to get wasted.
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I'm going to get a lot of flack about this because I'm fairly certain that traditional meetings tell you to avoid doing this...but I drink NA beers and mocktails when I'm social. I've been sober for 4 months and have made it through a wedding, Bachelorette party, and other gatherings with tons of alcohol. I find as long as I'm sipping on my own "drink" I do well. Know your triggers, though.
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Ahhhh, wouldn’t call it dodging. Call it staying sober and the right thing to do. People, places, and things. Get you every time. You’re doing the right thing. Sobriety is about change. And what do we need to change to stay sober when addicts? Everything!
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Great advice, much appreciated! Thank you all!
Risk/Reward. The risks of relapse are usually much higher than the reward you receive from participating in that risky activity. Early on err on the safe side. Be patient. Over time you will be able to handle more. But not early on. Relapses suck.
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Ask yourself if you have a good reason to be attending those events. Birthday party, work party, seeing a band etc, all good reasons. Hanging out at Happy Hour for vicarious pleasure? Not such a good reason. And I bet your real friends are happy that you are sober.
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Ive made new friends and am much happier.
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Do not hang out in old playground with old playmates.
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I had to eliminate all of my friends because after 30 years of use, all of my friends were users. It’s been very lonely but no regrets. When I am at events I drink tonic and lime, I don’t have a problem being around alcohol, but as others have mentioned, I have little in common any more with people who drink. It is all about change and even 2.5 years in the social part is still a struggle, but getting better
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Hey Erin congratulations on 6 months!!!
If your like me your drank pretty much every waking moment. On the toilet in the shower at work at home .....
I hang out with some people in my life from before I got sober. Use a checklist.
- Are these people addicts/alcoholics themselves?
- Are these people using these events/get-togethers strictly to "get fucked up" ? Or was it only you in the your addiction/alcoholism that perceived that to be the case?
- Would these people have interest in sober specific activities if they knew early in sobriety you felt this way?
These are only examples of course but I find breaking any and everything down to steps questions etc really helps with perspective.
Hope this helps.
Stay Sober
Stay Strong
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Staying sober means you only have to change one thing …everything!
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Survived & remained sober at work Xmas party with the over hyped premium bar.
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Keep dodging for a year.not worth it.stay sober.you will figure out they are not your friends.after a year.keep going to meetings.
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