I’ve always struggled with taking alcohol and other substances past the point of “fun”. I always wake up the morning after anxious and disappointed with myself. I’m ready to change and put my mental health above a social life that revolves around drinking. I’ve been in a super happy and healthy relationship but he’s a singer and his job and friendships seem to be dependent on alcohol and drugs.
I’ve told him it’s unhealthy but I can’t pressure him into changing and I’ve made peace with that fact. I just need advice on how to tell him I can’t be around him when he’s drinking because that makes me want to as well. I don’t want to miss out on any fun nights and seem like a buzz kill because I really want to be sober. I want to keep my partner but feel like if I have to stay home every time he has a show or wants to take me out with friends I’ll lose our closeness.
I would talk to him about how you’re feeling and take it from there. Truth is, if he’s going out multiple times a week and you’re staying home, it will drive a wedge between you two. That’s why a good start is to talk and see what page he’s on as well
IMO that’s the price you might have to pay to be sober. You can’t control the other persons future feelings. Tough decisions need to be made to stay sober 
Communication is important, and my sobriety has to come first. My experience is that I have little control over the way others behave. Usually the only thing I can change is my own mind.
I don’t know how that works imo
I was in a relationship with someone who also used. At the time when I decided I wanted better for myself and he wasn’t ready yet then we agreed to take a break. We took a break for a while then ended up back together. When we got back together tho my perspective changed. The person I had originally fell in love with was not the person I was currently dating. I ended up eventually drinking etc again but I think a lot changed for me it wasn’t fun after I had already been sober for a little bit. I learned a really hard fact that you can’t change people. Focus on yourself things will workout if it’s meant to
Boundaries are hard but important in any relationship. Be open and honest about them. If he can respect the person you want to become you two will be in great shape. Most likely closer than you are now. Best of luck!
My mindset is so different from how I used to be. I've been in the music industry for over 30 years. I do much better work now that I'm clean and sober. My fiancé will have a glass of wine a couple of times a year.