I've been going to AA for about a month. I appreciate the group and what is happening but i can't make more than a couple of meetings a week and have no desire to make AA my primary community in life (which appears to be the only acceptable path given by my sponsor). Does anyone have alternative ideas?
I go to aa hit and miss and most aa people swear it’s the only way to stay sober , to me this depends on how bad you really want to be sober ? Is it your desire? Do you feel that your life is better without alcohol? If you truly want to be sober then in my opinion aa is a great tool but it’s not healthy to make it your only outlet, I go to pubs and eat and hang out with people who drink and I think it makes me stronger in my convictions. It’s all about how much you want it to work .
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Thanks for your post Ted! This a great topic/question. I do 3-4 meetings a week. Some weeks it’s only been 2. I have gone thru the 12 steps, and a practice my daily program. I have a good group of guys that I speak with or text on a regular basis. I do personal therapy, a group marriage therapy meeting, and have incorporated many other tools I’ve learned by having an open mind. My sponsor can get a little pushy with AA as well. In the beginning I felt “guilty” about it. The idea that I wasn’t doing “enough” AA, was causing me anxiety. I made a decision not to accept the fear based info I was receiving as “fact”. There’s some truth to what my sponsor says, but it’s up to me how to interpret and implement it in my recovery. I live with enough fear lol. I actually enjoy my AA meetings. To me they are great mental health awareness meetings. I would go to more, but I also have a family, a business, and a life. Its up to me to work a daily program of recovery, and maintain and improve my mental and spiritual health so that I can remain sober. If I feel I need to go to more meetings, I’ll have to find the strength and courage to tell my wife and family that I need to go to more meetings. I’ve thought about getting another sponsor, but I do like to have that strong AA sponsor presence in my life. He does remind me to stay on the beam and not drift too far. I didn’t give you much advice, but I’m sure there are many others that were going thru the same thing
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These are great thoughts guys!
Have you been sober the whole month?
I’ve tried AA….and honestly I always wanted to drink more when I left. I’m just surrounding myself around good friends who won’t let me faultier…..I can call them whenever.
Been sober a month and a few days
Try NA. It’s not as hardcore, and still will give you the needed components and tools.
Sweet, congratulations, I’d suggest not making any major changes to your recovery program. Possibly add something but would strongly recommend not dumping what your doing that is working. I’d recommend working the steps before any major changes are implemented.
There are a high percentage of folks on here not working any program that have a tough time putting a few days together, you are having success. Just look for the things that are a positive in AA and put the other stuff to the side, at least until you either work the steps or have several months of solid sobriety. I’d try out smart recovery to add to my program if it was available where I am, I also checked our three other programs that did not work for me before and after AA. I’m always open to adding to my program.
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What is NA? All this is new to me
Narcotics anonymous… but just like AA you don’t strictly need to be a hard drug user to go. Just the desire to quit using.
As far as the amount of meetings, and hanging out with only AA peeps… you do what is best and works for you. I go to one or two meetings a week. I talk to some of the guys on the phone but we don’t hang out. That being said I have a family and I mostly hang with them. If I was single that may be different. The point is your sobriety is your own. No one can dictate what that looks like except yourself.
Thanks. The big issue with time is both family and work (which is highly relational) and I have a close nit church and local community- how to prioritize all this is an issue. There is no question on the need to not drink.
Thanks Brian
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You haven't stated your reason why you feel it's not a good fit. Help us out, why do you feel this way man?
Everyone’s journey is different. There’s SMART Recovery Refuge Recovery Christian recovery. There’s a lot of different groups that promote self care and a good life. I like to check them all out. I go to AA daily on zoom. If you want to understand AA read the book. I guess they say to do that with a person who got sober before you…. Every persons journey is different and personal
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Hi Ted…I totally respect AA, but it didn’t work for me. I joined The Luckiest Club, TLC. They have over 40 meetings a week online. No dogma and no pressure. They also have sub groups, clubs, meet ups, etc. It literally is saving my life! And unlike AA, I actually love the meetings and have made what I know will be life long friends. AA used to be the only game in town, but there are now other groups that have great success. Just don’t give up! AA has many good principles. And they do promote connection as it is key in my humble opinion to staying sober. You cannot do it alone. You will find your niche. Hope this helps!
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Went cold turkey 12 1/2 years and that worked for me, although that doesn’t work for a lot of people. Hobbies, working out, being grateful you’re not waking up feeling like doo doo the next morning. Don’t underestimate the value of building a blanket fort and escaping to read or color. You also have a great support here as well.. 24/7, my friend.
Hey. Everyone is different, I think, when it comes to recovery. AA was especially helpful for me beginning my sobriety. Try to do the steps, at least to 5th. Go to meetings as you feel needed. You’ll hear a lot of old saws such as “Meeting makers make it” etc., but this may not be true for you.
Fit is still a question. I don't lack for healthy community. I am feeling a lot of pressure to make AA THE community for me.
Ah okay. Yeah it's the most prevalent and it's free so it has appeal there. Plus there are meetings pretty much anywhere you go. I can see where you're coming from though. For me, in the beginning it was just "I have to do something". Then, I had to find tune the meetings I wanted to go to. I don't really believe, like AA tells us, that I need to be "uncomfortable" to grow. I have had enough of being uncomfortable. I go to the meetings I like, with the people I like and i avoid the jĂŁckasses that I don't wanna be around. It's that simple to me.