After 4 months sober, I lost my mother unexpectedly of Covid last month. My count has started again 5 days ago. Struggling with it right now
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Sorry for your loss Claire 
sending prayers your way…. Take it one day at a time, you’ll find a way back
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I’m so sorry for your loss, Claire. Stay strong, you aren’t alone 
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My condolences...
I imagine your mother would want you to be sober. When I want to drink I go ahead and play out what happens next in my mind because it has become so dam predictable over the years: first drink leads to essentially 4-5 more drinks, cocaine, 4-5 more drinks, bars/ clubs, blackout option #1, embarrassing/regrettable things, blackout option #2, hangover. I'm sure yours is different but I'm willing to bet it's negative. That helps me and just watching drunk people do stupid shite on YouTube or what have you is a good deterrent too. Can ch a meeting if possible. And at the very least, us loosiders are all here.
Stay strong
Strength and Serenity
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My mother is in the hospital right now and I lost my grandmother to Covid two years ago tomorrow. You’re not alone. Don’t beat yourself up, the world will do that enough. Stay strong <3
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Condolences for such a painful loss. I lost my dad 3 years into sobriety and I didn’t think I’d make it, gratefully I did and one way that helped was praying to him asking he help me get through the day sober. I still say out loud sometimes when the day is extra hard “Dad please help me”. I’ll say a prayer for you and your loved ones.
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My condolences to you. Sending prayers your way. Today you can do this. Yes a new beginning. I know this isn’t easy but you can. Your worthy, your important, and your loved. One day at a time. Your in the right place. Get to a meeting get numbers, and a sponsor work the steps. Make wise choices and I hope you haven’t drank or used today. The struggle is real ! And the enemy wants to see you die! Stay strong. I’m here if you need me reach out. 
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