After painting for 7 hours straight today, I remembered I had 3 Heineken. I decided to drink them after working. I drank 2.5 and felt the buzz. I didn’t like the feeling, threw out the the other half of the 3rd bottle. So annoyed with myself. I enjoyed the first one, it went down smooth after working all day and it being hot. By the end of the second when the buzz kicked in I wasn’t enjoying it. I was just feeling irritated and disappointed in myself. I don’t know why I drank them in the first place. It validated that the right path of me is being sober, but why do I feel the need and want for sometime I don’t even like. This is is odd and hard.
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As alcoholics/addicts, that’s what we’re conditioned to do. It’s good that you recognized early and were able to stop. Use it as an opportunity to learn and come back stronger in your recovery. One day at a time 
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I really felt your post. I went round & round trying to stop drinking on my own. I'm a binge drinker heavy black outside & all that. Heineken & whiskeys were my go to. I too towards my end before I bottomed out thought on many occasions idk why I'm even drinking anymore I'm not enjoying it. Like the other post said it's like we are preprogrammed. Idk if you're in AA but may want to think about that. Best of luck to you.
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