Again, this is the punishment I get from my past mistakes and for mostly keeping myself sober. I still lose everything, losing more friends, and soon I can't regain. To send to my past the devastating, what I'm trying to make up for with redemption. Is it already too late for me to make a redemption? I'm still losing everything. It hurts to make a better change while the past is still eating me alive, in the present (today)
Going to meetings...getting a sponsor...working the steps and praying have turned my life from a place of total hopelessness to happiness...hope...and peace...these things together have completely changed my life! I hope this helps you...
Man, morbid reflection is an ugly beast, it will literally fill the rest of your life with pain. Meetings, sponsorship, step work, therapy, heck just about anything can help if you let it.
Recovery is uncomfortable until we completely surrender and that includes forgiving ourselves. I treated myself the worst. Taking away the substance leaves a hole. Fill it with meetings, service, working out, etc. Your HP has the plan laid out already.
Take it one day at a time I've been there also it gets better daily Trust me I know how you feel and what your doing though meetings and more meeting and reading and focusing on my feet have kept grounded